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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

CNN: Shutdown might make you miss out on your government-sponsored snackies
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Shutdown might make you miss out on your government-sponsored snackies

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Oh, the horror! Apparently, if Trump wasn’t still MAGA-ing America, millions might miss out on their precious government-sponsored groceries! The…

California Guv Says These Pols Are Totally Rigging the Election (No Duh)
Elephant Reads CNN

California Guv Says These Pols Are Totally Rigging the Election (No Duh)

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Gavin Newsom, the hair-gelled governor of California, is crying foul about redistricting. Can you believe this guy? Typical liberal. Always…

Trump’s ICE Meltdown: Raids Getting Him Down
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s ICE Meltdown: Raids Getting Him Down

Big ElephantOctober 28, 2025October 28, 2025

Here we go again with the Fake News peddlers at CNN! Apparently, ICE isn’t arresting enough illegal aliens to satisfy…

Fork Handles! Man Accused of In-Flight Forklift Frenzy from Chicago to Krautland | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Fork Handles! Man Accused of In-Flight Forklift Frenzy from Chicago to Krautland | CNN

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Another day, another illegal alien, probably radicalized by some woke professor in his “biblical studies” program, stabs innocent Americans with…

Government Workers Whine About Their Paid Vacation and Mild Inconveniences: A CNN Sob Story
Elephant Reads CNN

Government Workers Whine About Their Paid Vacation and Mild Inconveniences: A CNN Sob Story

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Oh, the horror! Three government workers, probably card-carrying members of the socialist Democrat party, are struggling because they can’t get…

Hyundai’s Epic Fail: Tries to Snatch Back S Korean Geniuses After ICE Party, But Trump’s Like, “Hold My Wall”
Elephant Reads CNN

Hyundai’s Epic Fail: Tries to Snatch Back S Korean Geniuses After ICE Party, But Trump’s Like, “Hold My Wall”

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re twisting President Trump’s words about those South Korean workers at the Hyundai…

Indiana Gov. Mike Braun Throws a Tantrum, Demands Do-Over on Congressional Map Coloring Book
Elephant Reads CNN

Indiana Gov. Mike Braun Throws a Tantrum, Demands Do-Over on Congressional Map Coloring Book

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the radical left to undermine our great President Trump! Now, they’re crying foul because Indiana…

RIP Chocolate: Brits’ Taste Buds Officially Declared ‘Unsalvageable’ by EU
Elephant Reads CNN

RIP Chocolate: Brits’ Taste Buds Officially Declared ‘Unsalvageable’ by EU

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Oh, the horror! Now the woke mob is coming for our chocolate. First, they came for Mr. Potato Head, and…

Trump’s Nuke Plans vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious Standoff
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Nuke Plans vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious Standoff

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Typical! The Deep State is at it again, trying to sabotage President Trump’s efforts to keep America strong! CNN is…

OMG! Trump’s Brain Scan Leaked! (You Won’t BELIEVE What They Found!)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Trump’s Brain Scan Leaked! (You Won’t BELIEVE What They Found!)

Big ElephantOctober 27, 2025October 27, 2025

Oh, no! The Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! Our great President Trump, probably the healthiest man ever…

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