Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Barrett and Kavanaugh tell conservatives to get off their lazy asses and defend their ‘principles’
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Barrett and Kavanaugh tell conservatives to get off their lazy asses and defend their ‘principles’

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Looks like Justices Barrett and Kavanaugh are telling conservatives to toughen up and stand their ground against the liberal onslaught.…

“We’re Doomed!’: Americans Throw Economic Tantrum as Politicians Play ‘Who Can Be More Useless?’ Game”
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

“We’re Doomed!’: Americans Throw Economic Tantrum as Politicians Play ‘Who Can Be More Useless?’ Game”

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Fake News CNN at it Again! Blaming Our Great President Trump for a “government shutdown” that’s REALLY just him draining…

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

ACA Premium Hikes: Prepare for Impact (and LOLs) in Just Four Charts

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Obamacare Open Enrollment: Prepare for Sticker Shock Thanks to Socialist Subsidies! The failing Affordable Care Act is back in the…

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wendy’s Apocalypse: They’re taking away our Frostys

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another American institution bites the dust, folks! Wendy’s, succumbing to the woke mob and their insatiable demands for “organic,” “sustainable,”…

“MTG to Write Nancy Pelosi Fanfic After Retirement News”
Elephant Reads CNN

“MTG to Write Nancy Pelosi Fanfic After Retirement News”

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 6, 2025

Marjorie Taylor Greene, bless her heart, is praising Nancy Pelosi? Is this the end times? Has the Deep State finally…

DC Sandwich Sniper Walks Away a Free Man, Leaving a Trail of Crumbs and Disappointment
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DC Sandwich Sniper Walks Away a Free Man, Leaving a Trail of Crumbs and Disappointment

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Another day, another victory for the radical Left! A D.C. jury, likely filled with card-carrying socialists from Georgetown, has acquitted…

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic NYC Victory: Three Maps That Prove He Didn’t Just Imagine It
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Zohran Mamdani’s Epic NYC Victory: Three Maps That Prove He Didn’t Just Imagine It

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Folks, can you believe what’s happening in the once-great city of New York? Zohran Mamdani, probably a socialist, maybe even…

NATCA Prez Says Expect Holiday Delays (Duh) | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NATCA Prez Says Expect Holiday Delays (Duh) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 7, 2025November 7, 2025

Oh, great, now the air traffic controllers, probably card-carrying members of the Socialist Party, are whining about delays. It’s all…

Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Pelosi Retires: Stock Traders Now Forced to Actually Work

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Looks like the Wicked Witch of the West Coast is finally hanging up her broom! Nancy Pelosi, that champion of…

‘We’re drowning in generosity’: Military family group hilariously unprepared for tidal wave of grocery requests during government tantrum | CNN Politics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘We’re drowning in generosity’: Military family group hilariously unprepared for tidal wave of grocery requests during government tantrum | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

So, CNN, the champion of fake news, is shedding crocodile tears over military families struggling during a government “shutdown” that…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 166 167 168 … 326 Next

Latest posts

  • Iran Blocks the Strait So Neighbors Take the Scenic Route
  • Seaplane Crashes Washington Coast Because That’s Just How Mondays Start
  • Billionaire’s Ex Still Waiting For That AI Money
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald says something on Truth Social again somehow
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on given date details

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}