Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Hunter Biden, the son of former President Joe Biden, is launching his own cryptocurrency, and it’s going to be called $LAPTOP. I mean, you can’t make this stuff up. The Wall Street Journal reported that Biden posted a teaser on social media site X, along with a compilation video of outlets and Trump administration officials referencing the infamous laptop. I’m not sure what’s more surprising, the fact that he’s launching a cryptocurrency or that he’s embracing the laptop controversy in such a bold way.
I remember when the laptop story first broke, it was all over the news, especially in Trump-friendly media outlets. The laptop contained some pretty sensitive information, including emails, documents, and financial records, as well as explicit photos. Hunter Biden’s lawyers have said that the files were manipulated, but that didn’t stop the story from becoming a sensation in the run-up to the 2020 election.
Biden has been pretty vocal about his public grievances, including the laptop controversy, on social media, Substack, and podcasts. He’s even written about his struggles with addiction, saying that the laptop contained evidence of his struggles with crack cocaine and alcohol. He’s also been outspoken about his support for digital currencies, saying that Congress needs to understand the value and potential utility of cryptocurrency.
It’s worth noting that Biden is far from the first to launch his own cryptocurrency. President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump launched a pair of meme coins in advance of his return to office in January 2025, and they reportedly reaped $1 billion in gains. Of course, most investors lost money, but that’s a whole different story.
Investors tend to trade meme coins based on trends, novelty, or potential gains, and may not care about the risk. Biden’s cryptocurrency will trade on Base, which was created by Coinbase Global, according to the Journal report. Coinbase didn’t immediately return a CNN request for comment, but I’m sure they’ll have something to say about it soon.
Somewhere in Atlanta, a producer thought this sounded terrifying, and now we’ve got a story about Hunter Biden’s cryptocurrency. I’m not sure what to make of it all, but I do know that it’s going to be an interesting ride. Biden’s cryptocurrency is set to launch on September 9th, so we’ll just have to wait and see how it all plays out.
In conclusion, Hunter Biden’s cryptocurrency is a pretty bold move, and it’s going to be interesting to see how it all plays out. With the launch date set for September 9th, we’ll just have to wait and see if $LAPTOP will be a success or a flop. One thing’s for sure, it’s going to be a wild ride, and I’ll be here with my coffee, watching it all unfold with a mix of amusement and skepticism. Bless their hearts, it’s going to be a long few weeks.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
