Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Jackal Research Division
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Against All Logic, Dumb Americans Still Throwing Money Away | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Against All Logic, Dumb Americans Still Throwing Money Away | CNN Business

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another victory for the Trump economy, despite the Left’s best efforts to sabotage it! CNN is trying to…

JD Vance’s Brain Fart: A Charlie Kirk Special (as seen on CNN?)
Elephant Reads CNN

JD Vance’s Brain Fart: A Charlie Kirk Special (as seen on CNN?)

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another RINO bites the dust! This so-called “GOP senator” probably vacations in Martha’s Vineyard. When will these people learn? Trump…

Another swamp creature makes it to the Fed, buckle up
Elephant Reads CNN

Another swamp creature makes it to the Fed, buckle up

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another Deep State operative, Stephen Miran, has been heroically placed into the viper’s nest that is the Federal Reserve! Can…

US Military Kills 3 (Again!) in International Waters, Trump Takes Credit (Obviously)
Elephant Reads CNN

US Military Kills 3 (Again!) in International Waters, Trump Takes Credit (Obviously)

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the ongoing war against the cartels and narcoterrorists poisoning our great nation!…

**”Ghana Welcomes US Deportees with Open Arms (and Maybe a Torture Chamber or Two, According to Lawyers)”**
Elephant Reads CNN

**”Ghana Welcomes US Deportees with Open Arms (and Maybe a Torture Chamber or Two, According to Lawyers)”**

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Another day, another attempt by the Deep State and their leftist lawyers to undermine our glorious President Trump! These “West…

Arnie Tells Commiefornians to Can Newsom’s Gerrymandering Garbage
Elephant Reads CNN

Arnie Tells Commiefornians to Can Newsom’s Gerrymandering Garbage

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

The Terminator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is trying to save California from the clutches of the radical Democrats and their redistricting…

Le Pentagon’s Snoopy Dog Finally Done Reading Fox News Host’s Texts: Quelle Surprise
Elephant Reads CNN

Le Pentagon’s Snoopy Dog Finally Done Reading Fox News Host’s Texts: Quelle Surprise

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Another day, another Deep State witch hunt! Our brave Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, a true patriot, is being targeted…

WaPo Columnist Gets the Boot for Trolling Charlie Kirk, Blames “Political Violence,” World Keeps Turning
Elephant Reads CNN

WaPo Columnist Gets the Boot for Trolling Charlie Kirk, Blames “Political Violence,” World Keeps Turning

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Another day, another leftist bites the dust! It seems even the Bezos-owned Washington Post is starting to feel the MAGA…

Emmys hijacked by virtue-signaling celebs to yap about Gaza, as if anyone cares
Elephant Reads CNN

Emmys hijacked by virtue-signaling celebs to yap about Gaza, as if anyone cares

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Hollywood liberals are at it again! Javier Bardem, a man who probably thinks Palestine is a health food store, wore…

White House Begs Congress for a measly $58 Million for some extra Locks after Kirk gets the Boot | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

White House Begs Congress for a measly $58 Million for some extra Locks after Kirk gets the Boot | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 15, 2025September 15, 2025

Oh, the horror! More money for security because some unhinged leftist took out a true patriot, Charlie Kirk. You just…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 168 169 170 … 279 Next

Latest posts

  • Why Every Band Announces A Farewell Tour And Never Leaves
  • Wilson Unveils Tennis Balls With Even More Smell
  • Rick Astley Still Not Retired Apparently
  • Duran Duran’s umpteenth farewell gift, Free To Love remixed to death apparently
  • More Unnecessary Sequels Abound Resonance Plague Tale Is Back

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}