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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

‘Daddy’s Girl’ Does Something Brave, Backed by Familiar Dark Forces
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Daddy’s Girl’ Does Something Brave, Backed by Familiar Dark Forces

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 4, 2025

The liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re mourning Dick Cheney, the so-called “controversial” VP, who, according to them,…

Trump’s Genius Move: Backs Cuomo for NYC Mayor – Is This the End Times
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Genius Move: Backs Cuomo for NYC Mayor – Is This the End Times

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! Our GREAT President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is trying to save…

Is it safe to fly during the government shutdown? Aviation experts give answers that will really take off (or not) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Is it safe to fly during the government shutdown? Aviation experts give answers that will really take off (or not) | CNN

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, the horror! Air traffic controllers are “anxious” and taking second jobs? Sounds like a load of socialist whining to…

“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Thanks, Obama! Why Your Healthcare Costs Are Now Higher Than Your Rent”

Big ElephantNovember 4, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is *shocked* that Obamacare is a disaster! Who could have possibly foreseen that a government takeover of…

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Mass Murderer Gets Free Housing and Dies of Old Age, What a Joke”

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another socialist bites the dust! George Banks, a mass murderer who probably voted Democrat, finally kicked the bucket…

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Frank Luntz Predicts GOPocalypse 2025: Tears of a Clown Edition | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, no! Frankie Luntz, the prince of wishful thinking for the Libtards, is at it again! He’s predicting a “bad…

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act
Elephant Reads CNN

Crypto Bro Gets Pardoned, Trump Claims Ignorance: A Comedy in One Act

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Another day, another deep state conspiracy thwarted by our glorious President Trump! This time, it’s about the pardon of crypto…

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment
Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Dumps Truckload of Monopoly Money in Dubai, Claims it’s a $15 Billion Investment

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is wetting its pants over AI in the UAE! More globalist garbage! Microsoft, Google, and NVIDIA –…

Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster
Elephant Reads CNN

Air Traffic Controllers vs Government Shutdown: A Hilarious (Not Really) Disaster

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN at it again, folks! They’re interviewing some has-been “expert” about air traffic control during the government shutdown…

Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Exit Polls: Or How We Pretend to Know What People Are Thinking Before They Even Vote | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 3, 2025November 3, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re teaming up with their usual liberal buddies to conduct “exit polls”…

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