Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Aviva Siegel Survives Hostage Hell, Now Annoys Wolf Blitzer With Ceasefire Complaints
Elephant Reads CNN

Aviva Siegel Survives Hostage Hell, Now Annoys Wolf Blitzer With Ceasefire Complaints

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another sob story from CNN, the Clinton News Network, about a former hostage in Gaza! You just know…

Trump FINDS Couch Money to Pay Soldiers, World Still Doesn’t Care
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump FINDS Couch Money to Pay Soldiers, World Still Doesn’t Care

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Fake News CNN is trying to make it sound like President Trump isn’t taking…

Illinois National Guard: Feds Say “Stay Put, Soldier Boy”
Elephant Reads CNN

Illinois National Guard: Feds Say “Stay Put, Soldier Boy”

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

The libtards in Illinois are at it again, trying to undermine our glorious President Trump! They don’t want the National…

Bolton’s ‘Stache: Feds Plotting a Weekend Mustache Waxing… I Mean, Indictment
Elephant Reads CNN

Bolton’s ‘Stache: Feds Plotting a Weekend Mustache Waxing… I Mean, Indictment

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Lock him up! Sources say Deep State swamp creature John Bolton is about to face the music. After years of…

Biden Exposes Himself to Dangerous Rays for a ‘Tan’
Elephant Reads CNN

Biden Exposes Himself to Dangerous Rays for a ‘Tan’

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Well, well, well, look who it is – Sleepy Joe himself! Turns out, even after his disastrous term, he’s still…

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Wild Ride: 3 Countries Give Him the Boot While Courts Play Ping-Pong with His Life
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Wild Ride: 3 Countries Give Him the Boot While Courts Play Ping-Pong with His Life

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another deep-state stall tactic! Three African nations – Uganda, Eswatini, and Ghana – are refusing to take back…

Collins Asks Mamdani If Trump’s Gonna Get Him Too, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Collins Asks Mamdani If Trump’s Gonna Get Him Too, LOL

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another desperate Democrat clinging to the spotlight! Zohran Mamdani, a NYC mayoral hopeful (bless his heart), is now…

Arizona Attorney General Admits Pam Bondi’s Shock at Indictment Was Oscar-Worthy Performance
Elephant Reads CNN

Arizona Attorney General Admits Pam Bondi’s Shock at Indictment Was Oscar-Worthy Performance

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the failing CNN to prop up their radical leftist darlings! Arizona’s Soros-backed Attorney General,…

CNN to Host AOC and Bernie: Prepare for Peak Wokeness
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN to Host AOC and Bernie: Prepare for Peak Wokeness

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

AOC and Bernie, the dynamic duo of destruction, are teaming up with CNN (aka the Communist News Network) for a…

Letitia “Cash Me Outside” James Gets Bankrolled by Dems After Trump Indictment, Proving Justice is Blind (to Campaign Contributions)
Elephant Reads CNN

Letitia “Cash Me Outside” James Gets Bankrolled by Dems After Trump Indictment, Proving Justice is Blind (to Campaign Contributions)

Big ElephantOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

Another day, another witch hunt fails spectacularly! Crooked Letitia James, indicted for her own crimes, somehow manages to rake in…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 197 198 199 … 329 Next

Latest posts

  • Tanning: Myth Vs. Fact
  • Hollywood Holds Hearings To Root Out Suspected Non-Communists
  • Tim Robbins and Common Explore Redemption in Silo Podcast
  • Stewart and Davidson Host NYC 9/11 Comedy Benefit at MSG
  • Miley Cyrus Teases New Album As Personal Life Reflection

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}