Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump throws tantrum, cancels meeting because Democrats won’t let him build his wall
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws tantrum, cancels meeting because Democrats won’t let him build his wall

Big ElephantSeptember 23, 2025September 23, 2025

Another day, another Democrat temper tantrum threatening to shut down the government! Crooked Schumer and Hakeem “Who?” Jeffries are holding…

Oy Vey, Florida Synagogue Gets a Little Too Lit Before Rosh Hashanah: Was it the Gefilte Fish?
Elephant Reads CNN

Oy Vey, Florida Synagogue Gets a Little Too Lit Before Rosh Hashanah: Was it the Gefilte Fish?

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Another day, another outrage! Seems like the radical left is at it again, this time targeting a Florida synagogue just…

US Government Babies Throw Tantrum, Ban Iranian Diplomats From Bulk Buying at Costco
Elephant Reads CNN

US Government Babies Throw Tantrum, Ban Iranian Diplomats From Bulk Buying at Costco

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Another brilliant move by President Trump to stick it to the Mullahs! While the liberal media wrings their hands, our…

Two-State Solution: More Like Two-Brain-Cell Solution, AmIRite
Elephant Reads CNN

Two-State Solution: More Like Two-Brain-Cell Solution, AmIRite

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Oh, another “expert” book about the “failed” two-state solution! As if we didn’t know that giving land to terrorists leads…

Nvidia Dumps $100B into OpenAI’s Money Furnace Because Why Not
Elephant Reads CNN

Nvidia Dumps $100B into OpenAI’s Money Furnace Because Why Not

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Folks, can you believe this? Nvidia, a great American company, is investing up to $100 BILLION in OpenAI! That’s right,…

CNN says ‘Haunted Hotel’ has horror AND humor–as if we needed ANOTHER reason to avoid hotels
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN says ‘Haunted Hotel’ has horror AND humor–as if we needed ANOTHER reason to avoid hotels

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Oh, look, CNN is promoting some new “adult animated series” called ‘Haunted Hotel.’ I bet it’s just another platform for…

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)
Elephant Reads CNN

TikTok’s Algorithm: Now Brought to You by Oracle (in America, Yeehaw)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

TikTok to be operated by Oracle! Finally, the deep state’s hold on our youth is weakening! The libs are seething…

Latinos Throw Fiesta in the Face of Imaginary Immigration Monsters | CNN (Says Who?)
Elephant Reads CNN

Latinos Throw Fiesta in the Face of Imaginary Immigration Monsters | CNN (Says Who?)

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Ah, yes, more virtue signaling from the Left! These “celebrations” are nothing more than thinly veiled attempts to undermine President…

Amazon’s Prime Deception on Trial: Did They Bamboozle You, Too
Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon’s Prime Deception on Trial: Did They Bamboozle You, Too

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Here we go again, folks! The Deep State FTC, still licking its wounds from President Trump’s landslide victory, is now…

California: Where ICE Agents Can’t Even Show Their Faces, But Your Neighbor’s Chihuahua Needs a Therapist
Elephant Reads CNN

California: Where ICE Agents Can’t Even Show Their Faces, But Your Neighbor’s Chihuahua Needs a Therapist

Big ElephantSeptember 22, 2025September 22, 2025

Gavin Newsom, or as I like to call him, “Gruesome Newsom,” just signed a bill to unmask our brave law…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 213 214 215 … 329 Next

Latest posts

  • Seattle Center Becomes Latest Venue To Host Free Ammo Giveaway
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Congressman Brandon Gill rips Deranged Jack Smith on Trey Gowdy Show
  • Faith No More and System of a Down Team Up Live
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on unknown date
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on specific date

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}