Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Obamacare: The Reason Your Government Might Just Take a Permanent Vacation, Maybe
Elephant Reads CNN

Obamacare: The Reason Your Government Might Just Take a Permanent Vacation, Maybe

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Obamacare Subsidies Extension? More Like a Socialist Handout Extension! Can you believe these Democrats are at it again, trying to…

CNN Asks: Gen Z Deletes TikTok, World Implodes
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Gen Z Deletes TikTok, World Implodes

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Oh, the horror! These delicate snowflakes are logging off the internet? Probably because they can’t handle the TRUTH! Back in…

Bill Cassidy and RFK Jr’s bromance: About to go down in flames
Elephant Reads CNN

Bill Cassidy and RFK Jr’s bromance: About to go down in flames

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! Senator Cassidy, bless his heart, thought he could buddy up with RFK…

“Brace Yourselves, The Fed Is About To Do Something (Maybe)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Brace Yourselves, The Fed Is About To Do Something (Maybe)”

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Oh, the Deep State Federal Reserve is at it again, folks! They’re “considering” cutting interest rates, supposedly to help the…

YOU’RE KIDDING, CHARLIE KIRK’S DEAD?! UVU Students Brave the Aftermath of TPUSA’s Mishap
Elephant Reads CNN

YOU’RE KIDDING, CHARLIE KIRK’S DEAD?! UVU Students Brave the Aftermath of TPUSA’s Mishap

Big ElephantSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes at Utah Valley University are returning to class after the tragic demise of conservative hero Charlie…

Todd Blanche: Wants to Jail You For Exercising Your First Amendment Rights, What a Guy
Elephant Reads CNN

Todd Blanche: Wants to Jail You For Exercising Your First Amendment Rights, What a Guy

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the failing CNN to smear our glorious President Trump! Of course, they’re twisting the…

Israel’s Bedtime Stories: Now with Extra Boom and Ouch
Elephant Reads CNN

Israel’s Bedtime Stories: Now with Extra Boom and Ouch

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Oh, no! Not the poor, innocent Gazan children! I’m sure they were all just playing with their kites and dreaming…

Trump’s Goons Find Convenient Scapegoat for Epstein Mess, Color Us Shocked
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Goons Find Convenient Scapegoat for Epstein Mess, Color Us Shocked

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another Deep State distraction! The liberal media, still seething from President Trump’s landslide victory, is now hyper-focused on…

DC Crime Bills: House Plays Dress-Up as Mini-Trump, Pretends to Care About Juvenile Justice
Elephant Reads CNN

DC Crime Bills: House Plays Dress-Up as Mini-Trump, Pretends to Care About Juvenile Justice

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

The House just passed two bills aimed at wrestling control of the swamp, I mean, Washington D.C., back from the…

Robinson’s Rap Sheet: A Comedy Show in Legal Briefs
Elephant Reads CNN

Robinson’s Rap Sheet: A Comedy Show in Legal Briefs

Big ElephantSeptember 16, 2025September 16, 2025

Another day, another tragedy fueled by the radical left! This time, some unhinged lunatic allegedly offed Charlie Kirk. Can you…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 214 215 216 … 326 Next

Latest posts

  • United Axes Middle Seats Because Passengers Hate Them
  • Joe Manchin Tries Again Because Why Not
  • Iran Blocks the Strait So Neighbors Take the Scenic Route
  • Seaplane Crashes Washington Coast Because That’s Just How Mondays Start
  • Billionaire’s Ex Still Waiting For That AI Money

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}