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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

UBS Gets Hacked (Again!), Blames Some Random Provider
Elephant Reads CNN

UBS Gets Hacked (Again!), Blames Some Random Provider

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Another day, another cyberattack, and guess what? It’s those sneaky Swiss banks, UBS and Pictet, caught with their lederhosen down!…

Ethan Embry’s Career Hits Rock Bottom: Stars in ‘Alma and the Wolf’
Elephant Reads CNN

Ethan Embry’s Career Hits Rock Bottom: Stars in ‘Alma and the Wolf’

Big ElephantJune 18, 2025June 18, 2025

Hollywood liberals are at it again, pushing their woke agenda with a “psychological thriller” set in the Pacific Northwest. You…

Senate Accidentally Approves Funny Internet Money Law, World Doomed
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Accidentally Approves Funny Internet Money Law, World Doomed

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the swamp creatures in the Senate have been at it again, haven’t they? They’ve passed some so-called “bipartisan” crypto…

Nezza butchers U.S. anthem in Taco Bell language at baseball game | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Nezza butchers U.S. anthem in Taco Bell language at baseball game | CNN

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the delicate snowflakes are at it again! A Florida sheriff, probably a closet Trump supporter, had the audacity to…

Judge Says Gov’t Can’t Stop the Rainbow Passport Party
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Says Gov’t Can’t Stop the Rainbow Passport Party

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for the woke mob! A Biden-appointed judge, probably sipping a soy latte while wearing a “Resist”…

RFK Jr. vs. Big Pharma Ads: Let the Broadcaster Bloodbath Begin
Elephant Reads CNN

RFK Jr. vs. Big Pharma Ads: Let the Broadcaster Bloodbath Begin

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still crying about Trump, even in 2025! Now they’re whining that RFK Jr., yes,…

CNN desperately tries to decipher Trump’s 4D chess moves on Iran, fails miserably
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN desperately tries to decipher Trump’s 4D chess moves on Iran, fails miserably

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Ah, CNN, still trying to make sense of President Trump’s genius! They’re whining that the US is “closer to a…

Kristi Noem’s Dramatic Ambulance Ride: Was It the Swamp Monster or Just Bad Salad
Elephant Reads CNN

Kristi Noem’s Dramatic Ambulance Ride: Was It the Swamp Monster or Just Bad Salad

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, a true patriot, was rushed to the hospital. CNN, those purveyors of fake news, are…

Trump Extends TikTok’s Life Again Because He Secretly Loves Dancing Teens
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Extends TikTok’s Life Again Because He Secretly Loves Dancing Teens

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

TikTok, the spyware app beloved by brain-dead Gen Z liberals, gets YET ANOTHER lifeline from the Deep State! Trump, in…

CNN Business Reports: Some Dude Filming a ‘No Kings’ Thingy Got Busted and Might Get the Boot
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business Reports: Some Dude Filming a ‘No Kings’ Thingy Got Busted and Might Get the Boot

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another so-called “journalist” from El Salvador crying about deportation. CNN is clutching its pearls because this guy, Mario…

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