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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Amazon to Fire Humans, Replaces Them With Roombas With ChatGPT
Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon to Fire Humans, Replaces Them With Roombas With ChatGPT

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Bezos’ buddies at Amazon are at it again, pushing their woke AI agenda to replace hardworking Americans! They claim it’s…

GOP Senator Accidentally Deletes Hilarious Tweets About Minnesota Shootings, Claims “Hacking”
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Senator Accidentally Deletes Hilarious Tweets About Minnesota Shootings, Claims “Hacking”

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the delicate sensibilities of the Left! Apparently, Senator Mike Lee dared to point out the obvious: that Marxist ideology…

“We’re Doomed!”: US Lawmakers Suddenly Care After Minnesota’s Mildly Spicy Political Tiff | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

“We’re Doomed!”: US Lawmakers Suddenly Care After Minnesota’s Mildly Spicy Political Tiff | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks. According to CNN, those poor, defenseless Democrats are now scaredy-cats after…

‘Bride Hard’ or ‘Bride So Hard She Forgot the Comedy Part’ | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Bride Hard’ or ‘Bride So Hard She Forgot the Comedy Part’ | CNN

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another Hollywood Blockbuster? More like another opportunity for the woke mob to sneak their leftist garbage into our theaters! “Bride…

Trump Runs From G7 Like a Toddler From Brussels Sprouts: Sources Say He Blames Middle East (and Sharing)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Runs From G7 Like a Toddler From Brussels Sprouts: Sources Say He Blames Middle East (and Sharing)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another globalist gathering foiled by the genius of President Trump! These so-called “leaders” probably spend more time plotting…

NYC Comptroller Brad Lander Mistakenly Detained by ICE in Bizarre Courtroom Mix-Up, Proving Even Politicians Aren’t Safe From Bureaucratic Blunders
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Comptroller Brad Lander Mistakenly Detained by ICE in Bizarre Courtroom Mix-Up, Proving Even Politicians Aren’t Safe From Bureaucratic Blunders

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Another day, another Democrat pulling a stunt! NYC Comptroller and Mayoral wannabe Brad Lander got himself arrested, trying to obstruct…

Liberal Judges Get Filthy Rich Writing Books, Conservatives Forced to Watch
Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal Judges Get Filthy Rich Writing Books, Conservatives Forced to Watch

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Ah, yes, the Supreme Court Justices, now moonlighting as bestselling authors. I’m sure their books are just riveting, especially when…

CNN Asks: Was Trump’s Israel-Iran Strategy Just a Reality TV Plot Gone Wrong
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks: Was Trump’s Israel-Iran Strategy Just a Reality TV Plot Gone Wrong

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, so now the left-wing media cares about war crimes? Spare me! Where were these clowns when Biden was botching…

X Marks the Spot for Lawsuits: Elon’s Epic Battle Against New York’s Nanny State
Elephant Reads CNN

X Marks the Spot for Lawsuits: Elon’s Epic Battle Against New York’s Nanny State

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the irony! Elon Musk, the supposed right-wing messiah, is being persecuted by none other than Letitia James, that champion…

Europe Tries REALLY HARD to Quit Russia (Ukraine War Still a Thing)
Elephant Reads CNN

Europe Tries REALLY HARD to Quit Russia (Ukraine War Still a Thing)

Big ElephantJune 17, 2025June 17, 2025

Oh, the EU is *finally* getting around to maybe, possibly, perhaps cutting off Russian oil and gas by 2027? That’s…

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