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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Idaho Killer Finally Agrees to a Plea Deal So He Doesn’t Have to Face the Music
Elephant Reads CNN

Idaho Killer Finally Agrees to a Plea Deal So He Doesn’t Have to Face the Music

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another win for the Deep State! Bryan Kohberger, accused of stabbing four college students, gets a plea deal. Can you…

Billionaires, Militias, and Shiny Rocks: Trump’s “Peace” Deal is Here to Save Us All
Elephant Reads CNN

Billionaires, Militias, and Shiny Rocks: Trump’s “Peace” Deal is Here to Save Us All

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another day, another “peace deal” brought to you by your favorite President, Donald J. Trump! But wait, CNN is involved?…

Boulder’s Jew-Hating Incident: Now With Added Death, Says Annoyed Prosecutors
Elephant Reads CNN

Boulder’s Jew-Hating Incident: Now With Added Death, Says Annoyed Prosecutors

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Another day, another tragedy, and you just know the liberal media will twist it to fit their narrative! An 82-year-old…

CNN’s Daniel Dale Bravely Fact-Checks Trump’s Totally Real, Not-At-All-Imaginary ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN’s Daniel Dale Bravely Fact-Checks Trump’s Totally Real, Not-At-All-Imaginary ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, CNN and their “fact-checks”! You just know they’re twisting everything President Trump says about his HUGE, BEAUTIFUL bill. They…

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed
Elephant Reads CNN

Ukraine’s Foreign Ministry Spokesperson Says Terror Scale Now Bigger Than Ever, Must Be Seen to Be Believed

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Ukrainian Foreign Ministry is hyperventilating again about Russia. Apparently, the “scale of terror is growing.” You…

Trump throws tantrum, Japan rice laughs in American
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump throws tantrum, Japan rice laughs in American

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, trying to make our GREAT President Trump look bad! He’s just standing up…

‘Nautilus’: A Deep Dive into Blandness
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Nautilus’: A Deep Dive into Blandness

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Hollywood is at it again, folks! Now they’re trying to indoctrinate our youth with a Captain Nemo origin story. You…

Starbucks Trembles: China’s Coffee King Has Invaded America
Elephant Reads CNN

Starbucks Trembles: China’s Coffee King Has Invaded America

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, great, more Commie coffee infiltrating our sacred land! Luckin Coffee, the Chinese knock-off that somehow “beat” Starbucks in China…

Warren Buffett Dumps $6B Worth of Berkshire Stocks Like They’re Hot Garbage
Elephant Reads CNN

Warren Buffett Dumps $6B Worth of Berkshire Stocks Like They’re Hot Garbage

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, look, Saint Warren is at it again! Giving away billions like it’s Monopoly money. Of course, it’s all going…

US Gov’t Says Iranian Hackers Might Steal Secrets from Companies That Work with Israel, Shocker
Elephant Reads CNN

US Gov’t Says Iranian Hackers Might Steal Secrets from Companies That Work with Israel, Shocker

Big ElephantJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Oh, great, more fear-mongering from CNN! Apparently, even after a totally fake “ceasefire” (probably brokered by Biden to appease his…

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