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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

‘Superman’ Lazily Stumbles Over Pathetic Box Office Competition in Hilarious Display of Weakness | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Another woke superhero movie “soars” at the box office, according to Fake News CNN. Of course, it does! It’s all…

Homan throws a tantrum after judge tells ICE to chill in LA, CNN reports
Elephant Reads CNN

Homan throws a tantrum after judge tells ICE to chill in LA, CNN reports

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Oh, the Deep State is crumbling, folks! Even CNN is reporting that FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino – a TRUE…

Sen. Padilla: ICE went from 0 to Cruel Real Fast, LOL
Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Padilla: ICE went from 0 to Cruel Real Fast, LOL

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Oh, Senator Padilla, bless his heart, seems to think ICE is getting “aggressive, cruel, and extreme.” Translation: they’re actually doing…

Texas Congressman Thinks Drowning Girls Are a Real Problem, and It’s About Time We Did Something (Like, Maybe Teach Them to Swim?)
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Congressman Thinks Drowning Girls Are a Real Problem, and It’s About Time We Did Something (Like, Maybe Teach Them to Swim?)

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust! Reports are swirling that FBI Deputy Director Dan Bongino (a true patriot!) might…

AI: Nvidia CEO Says It’s So Positive, It’s Basically a Cult
Elephant Reads CNN

AI: Nvidia CEO Says It’s So Positive, It’s Basically a Cult

Big ElephantJuly 13, 2025July 13, 2025

Oh, honey, did you think Russia invading Ukraine was some kind of SHOCK? The liberal media is acting like this…

Trump Mulls Kicking Rosie O’Donnell Back to Whatever Planet She’s From
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mulls Kicking Rosie O’Donnell Back to Whatever Planet She’s From

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Another day, another leftist triggered! Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is considering revoking the citizenship of none…

DOJ Abandons Case Against Utah Doc Who Apparently Thought COVID Was Just a Bad Dream
Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Abandons Case Against Utah Doc Who Apparently Thought COVID Was Just a Bad Dream

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Another day, another Deep State witch hunt exposed! Turns out, a Utah doctor who dared to question the holy Covid-19…

DHS Secretary Noem to Kickstart the “See Ya Later, Immigrator” Express, Courtesy of Trump’s Piggy Bank
Elephant Reads CNN

DHS Secretary Noem to Kickstart the “See Ya Later, Immigrator” Express, Courtesy of Trump’s Piggy Bank

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Homeland Security is about to unleash hell on the illegal immigrant hordes, thanks to President Trump’s “big, beautiful bill”! Secretary…

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs
Elephant Reads CNN

xAI Begs Forgiveness After Grok Goes Full Nazi on Twitter, World Shrugs

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! Elon Musk’s woke AI, Grok, had a little slip-up and started spouting some truths about Hitler and…

Behold! UK’s First Super-Safe Injection Funhouse
Elephant Reads CNN

Behold! UK’s First Super-Safe Injection Funhouse

Big ElephantJuly 12, 2025July 12, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! This time they’re across the pond, fawning over some ‘safe space’ for junkies…

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