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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Witness The War and Treaty butcher their new song ‘Feels Like Home’ | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Witness The War and Treaty butcher their new song ‘Feels Like Home’ | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh, CNN is pushing “The War and Treaty,” a band performing a song called ‘Feels Like Home’ with the US…

Lainey Wilson butchers ‘Somewhere Over Laredo’ | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Lainey Wilson butchers ‘Somewhere Over Laredo’ | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh, great, CNN is “celebrating” the 4th of July with some woke country singer crooning about “Somewhere Over Laredo.” Probably…

Iowa Kicks Trans Rights to the Curb, Because Corn and Gender Identity Don’t Mix
Elephant Reads CNN

Iowa Kicks Trans Rights to the Curb, Because Corn and Gender Identity Don’t Mix

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Another day, another victory for common sense! Iowa has bravely removed gender identity from its civil rights code, and about…

From Victim to Influencer: How Right-Wing Celeb Drama is Turning Young Women into Brainwashed Zombies
Elephant Reads CNN

From Victim to Influencer: How Right-Wing Celeb Drama is Turning Young Women into Brainwashed Zombies

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh, the horror! It seems the liberal media is clutching its pearls over the rise of conservative women’s media. They’re…

Gaza: More Like Orchestrated CHAOS-ter, Am I Right
Elephant Reads CNN

Gaza: More Like Orchestrated CHAOS-ter, Am I Right

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh, CNN is at it again, folks! “Orchestrated disaster in Gaza,” they cry. You know what’s orchestrated? The liberal media’s…

Olive Garden’s Never-Ending Pasta Bowl: A Tragedy in Three Courses
Elephant Reads CNN

Olive Garden’s Never-Ending Pasta Bowl: A Tragedy in Three Courses

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

CNN reports on the socialist paradise that is Olive Garden, where “endless” breadsticks are designed to bankrupt America one carb…

Kyiv’s New Normal: We’re Totally Fine With the Daily Dose of Explosions | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Kyiv’s New Normal: We’re Totally Fine With the Daily Dose of Explosions | CNN

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Another day, another mystery—probably involving Hillary’s emails or some deep-state cover-up! CNN, still desperately clinging to relevance, reminds us of…

Roberts and Gorsuch to Decide if Boys Can Beat Girls in Sports, America’s Sanity on the Line
Elephant Reads CNN

Roberts and Gorsuch to Decide if Boys Can Beat Girls in Sports, America’s Sanity on the Line

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN is hyperventilating because the Supreme Court is daring to consider whether boys should be…

Texas Sinks: CNN’s Got Pics (and We’ve Got Jokes)
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Sinks: CNN’s Got Pics (and We’ve Got Jokes)

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Another Deep State weather manipulation gone wrong! First Maui, now Texas? You can bet your bottom dollar Soros and his…

Dems whine about Trump’s bill while shamelessly admitting they leech off Medicaid and other “aid” programs
Elephant Reads CNN

Dems whine about Trump’s bill while shamelessly admitting they leech off Medicaid and other “aid” programs

Big ElephantJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Oh, the horror! The socialist Democrats are at it again, trying to guilt-trip us with sob stories about how Trump’s…

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