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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Sen. Alex Padilla Gets Kicked Out of a DHS Party, EPIC FAIL
Elephant Reads CNN

Sen. Alex Padilla Gets Kicked Out of a DHS Party, EPIC FAIL

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Looks like the radical leftist Senator Alex Padilla got a taste of freedom—freedom to leave a press conference he wasn’t…

CNN: Old man yells at cloud, walks away from plane crash
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Old man yells at cloud, walks away from plane crash

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another hoax! CNN is trying to pull the wool over our eyes again. A “survivor” walking away from…

Senate GOP to Parents: “Get a Job (Maybe)” in Trump’s ‘Totally Not a Trap’ Bill
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate GOP to Parents: “Get a Job (Maybe)” in Trump’s ‘Totally Not a Trap’ Bill

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, the horror! The Senate Agriculture Committee, probably infiltrated by deep-state socialists, is “toning down” work requirements for food stamps.…

Supreme Court Sides with Crybaby Families in Landmark “My Kid’s So Special” Case
Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Sides with Crybaby Families in Landmark “My Kid’s So Special” Case

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another unanimous Supreme Court decision, probably orchestrated by the Deep State to lull us into a false sense…

JetBlue Pilots Attempted to Mow the Lawn at Logan Airport, Claimed They Were “Just Following the GPS”
Elephant Reads CNN

JetBlue Pilots Attempted to Mow the Lawn at Logan Airport, Claimed They Were “Just Following the GPS”

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Folks, can you believe it? Another day, another “accident” conveniently timed to disrupt our lives! A JetBlue flight, probably filled…

“Oops, Iran, We Might Actually Bomb You This Time”: Ex-Diplomat’s Hilarious Take on Nuclear Negotiations
Elephant Reads CNN

“Oops, Iran, We Might Actually Bomb You This Time”: Ex-Diplomat’s Hilarious Take on Nuclear Negotiations

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, here we go again! Another “expert” from the Deep State telling us about the “tense negotiations” with Iran. Negotiations?…

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout
Elephant Reads CNN

Kilmar Abrego Garcia’s Lawyers Throw Shade, Demand Trump Admin Get a Timeout

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Another day, another leftist conspiracy theory bites the dust! CNN is clutching its pearls because the Trump administration supposedly didn’t…

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom
Elephant Reads CNN

VR Headset Makes Kid Commit Yeet Mom

Big ElephantJune 12, 2025June 12, 2025

Oh, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. What’s next? A 10-year-old commie, probably raised on soy milk and socialist propaganda, shoots his mom because…

Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake
Elephant Reads CNN

Waukesha Condo Owners Still Alive After Almost-Building Incident, Celebrate With Cake

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Another day, another disaster, probably caused by some woke engineer who was too busy virtue signaling to check the structural…

High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie
Elephant Reads CNN

High School Jocks Discover Veterans Aren’t Just NPCs in a War Movie

Big ElephantJune 11, 2025June 11, 2025

Oh, isn’t that precious? These young, probably God-fearing, football players are helping veterans. Finally, some good news that doesn’t involve…

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