Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Hackers Get Free Upgrade Courtesy of AI Technology
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Hackers Get Free Upgrade Courtesy of AI Technology

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems that cybercriminals are getting more and more clever, using…

Elizabeth Warren Tries to Adult Trump’s Crypto Playground
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Elizabeth Warren Tries to Adult Trump’s Crypto Playground

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest Trump drama, and I have to say, this one’s a…

Plane Successfully Lands Without Exploding On Florida Highway Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Plane Successfully Lands Without Exploding On Florida Highway Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 4, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a small plane that made an emergency landing on a Florida interstate,…

Trump Team Urges Miller to Quit Amid Abuse Claims
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Team Urges Miller to Quit Amid Abuse Claims

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama surrounding Rep. Max Miller, and let me tell you,…

Trump Mulls Booting Pirro Over Reflecting Pool Fiasco Because Why Not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Mulls Booting Pirro Over Reflecting Pool Fiasco Because Why Not

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump considering removing Jeanine Pirro, the US attorney for the District…

US Strikes Kill Totally Innocent People Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

US Strikes Kill Totally Innocent People Somehow

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about the US military’s strikes on alleged drug boats, and I have to…

FBI Agent Excelling At Crypto Heist Investigation By Doing It Themselves
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FBI Agent Excelling At Crypto Heist Investigation By Doing It Themselves

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. An FBI agent, Patrick Steven Yaroch, allegedly stole over $900,000 in…

White House Intervenes to Kill Anti-Weaponization Fund Because Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Intervenes to Kill Anti-Weaponization Fund Because Reasons

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The White House was directly involved in acting Attorney General Todd…

GOP Rep Chuck Edwards Gets Slap On Wrist For Harassment
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Rep Chuck Edwards Gets Slap On Wrist For Harassment

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in Washington, and folks, this one is a doozy. The…

Trump Org Accounts Closed Due To Totally Normal Banking Activity
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Org Accounts Closed Due To Totally Normal Banking Activity

Big ElephantAugust 3, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it seems like Capital One closed hundreds of Trump Organization…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 42 43 44 … 383 Next

Latest posts

  • America Hates Everything Right Now Apparently Including Lake America
  • Tiger Woods swings by court for DUI plea tweak
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: DJT claims upper hand as Iran’s economy collapses slowly
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Trump winning Iran war with current strategy apparently
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: 9 weeks to go reframing election as capitalism vs socialism showdown

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.