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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Anthropic Abandons Safety Pledge Mid-Fight, Proving Even AI Ethicists Can’t Resist the Pentagon’s Siren Song
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Anthropic Abandons Safety Pledge Mid-Fight, Proving Even AI Ethicists Can’t Resist the Pentagon’s Siren Song

Big ElephantFebruary 25, 2026February 25, 2026

Deep State Puppets at Anthropic Bow to Pentagon Overlords, Ditch ‘Safety’ Charade In a shocking turn of events that proves…

Savannah Guthrie’s Desperate Video Plea: Week Four of the ‘Where’s Mom?’ Saga
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Savannah Guthrie’s Desperate Video Plea: Week Four of the ‘Where’s Mom?’ Saga

Big ElephantFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

Oh no, not another dramatic plea from Savannah Guthrie—how will we ever cope with this leftist media sob story? Well,…

Supreme Court Drops the Ball on Texas Woman’s Epic Saga of Alleged Postal Racism — Guess Her Mail Will Just Have to Wait Forever!
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court Drops the Ball on Texas Woman’s Epic Saga of Alleged Postal Racism — Guess Her Mail Will Just Have to Wait Forever!

Big ElephantFebruary 24, 2026February 24, 2026

Oh look, the Supreme Court strikes again! This time they sided with the U.S. Postal Service and against a woman…

Texas Border District Screaming SOS Signals for 2026 Midterms: Is This the Start of a Political Apocalypse?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Border District Screaming SOS Signals for 2026 Midterms: Is This the Start of a Political Apocalypse?

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

Oh no, not the Latinos again! Poor Democrats, their precious demographic coalition is crumbling faster than Joe Biden’s memory. Texas…

Peter Attia bolts from CBS News after getting Epstein-ed by the internet
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Peter Attia bolts from CBS News after getting Epstein-ed by the internet

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

Liberal Elite’s Favorite Health Guru Caught in Epstein Scandal – CBS Quickly Dumps Him In yet another stunning example of…

America’s Lost Tourist vs. Mexico’s Angry Drug Lords: The El Mencho Aftermath Edition
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

America’s Lost Tourist vs. Mexico’s Angry Drug Lords: The El Mencho Aftermath Edition

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

Another CNN “Crisis” Story? More Like Liberal Fearmongering to Bash Trump’s Border Security! CNN is at it again, folks! Their…

Supreme Court to Decide if Colorado City Can Sue Oil Companies for Making Earth Hotter Than a Jalapeño Popper
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Colorado City Can Sue Oil Companies for Making Earth Hotter Than a Jalapeño Popper

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

The Supreme Court is stepping into a high-stakes climate battle, and folks, this is huge! In a bold move, the…

Stellan Skarsgard’s Oscar Nomination: A Deep Dive into the Mind of the Man Who Probably Forgets He’s Nominated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Stellan Skarsgard’s Oscar Nomination: A Deep Dive into the Mind of the Man Who Probably Forgets He’s Nominated

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

Well, look who’s back in the spotlight—Stellan Skarsgård, Hollywood’s favorite Swedish sidekick, now pretending to be a serious actor because…

Judge Aileen Cannon Plays Hide-and-Seek with Trump’s Classified Document Drama
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Aileen Cannon Plays Hide-and-Seek with Trump’s Classified Document Drama

Big ElephantFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

President Trump Scores Massive Legal Victory as Judge Blocks Corrupt Deep State Prosecutor’s Final Report! In a stunning rebuke to…

Armed Guy Bites the Dust After Getting Too Close to Trump’s Florida Fortress
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Armed Guy Bites the Dust After Getting Too Close to Trump’s Florida Fortress

Big ElephantFebruary 22, 2026February 22, 2026

Secret Service Thwarts Another Woke Attempt to Sabotage Trump’s Florida Fortress In what can only be described as another desperate…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

  • Oh Joy Another Apocalyptic Movie to Make You Question the Point of Human Existence Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong with Dogs and Stars and the End of the World
  • Break Out the Neon and Big Hair Because the Most Iconic and Totally Not Forgotten Cartoon of the 80s Jem and the Holograms Is Getting a Live Action Series Because You Clearly Asked for This
  • SHINEDOWN’s ZACH MYERS Throws Tantrum Because Robots Are Better Songwriters Than Him
  • Trump Angrily Demands Jalen Brunson Put On Suit
  • Kylie Jenner Told Nachos Were Sent By Fat Joe

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