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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Corporate Success Stories Now Include Medicaid Recipients
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Corporate Success Stories Now Include Medicaid Recipients

Big ElephantJuly 24, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading this one. According to a recent federal government study, millions of…

Trump’s Team Has Fantastic Retention Rate Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Team Has Fantastic Retention Rate Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. It seems like President Donald Trump’s…

Trump Ruins Saudi Nuclear Deal In Record Time Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Ruins Saudi Nuclear Deal In Record Time Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The latest news about the civilian nuclear agreement between the United…

New York City Streets Prove Perfect Spot For Casual Stabbings
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New York City Streets Prove Perfect Spot For Casual Stabbings

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Two men were stabbed in broad daylight on the Upper West…

Russia Targets US Nuclear Scientists Because That’s Not A Recipe For Disaster
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Russia Targets US Nuclear Scientists Because That’s Not A Recipe For Disaster

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest Russian hacking scandal, and I’ve got to say, it’s a…

NTSB Reports Yet Another Totally Normal Day in Air Traffic Control
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NTSB Reports Yet Another Totally Normal Day in Air Traffic Control

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and trying to wrap my head around this one. Two planes, a Delta Air Lines…

Trump Finds Creative Ways to Keep Tariffs From Dying Alone
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Finds Creative Ways to Keep Tariffs From Dying Alone

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest move to tax foreign goods, and I have to…

DOJ Drops Subpoenas Because That Wasn’t Going Well
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

DOJ Drops Subpoenas Because That Wasn’t Going Well

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama between the federal government and The New York Times.…

Capitalism Loses Favor Among Americans Somehow Still Surprising Some People
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Capitalism Loses Favor Among Americans Somehow Still Surprising Some People

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Donald Trump’s strategy for the 2026 midterm elections is to…

Amazon Workers Now Officially Poorest Billionaire’s Employees
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon Workers Now Officially Poorest Billionaire’s Employees

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A new Government Accountability Office study found that a growing number…

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