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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Politician’s Killer Gets Double Life Sentence Somehow Still Not Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Politician’s Killer Gets Double Life Sentence Somehow Still Not Enough

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the sentencing of Vance Boelter, the Minnesota man who pleaded guilty to…

Congress Tells Trump Not To Start War Just Yet Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Congress Tells Trump Not To Start War Just Yet Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

The US House has voted to halt President Donald Trump’s war in Iran, and I’m not surprised, folks, it’s been…

Trump’s Iran Options Shrinking Faster Than His Patience
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Iran Options Shrinking Faster Than His Patience

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like President Trump is still convinced that Iran is…

Trump Activates Super Secret Deportation Court Because Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Activates Super Secret Deportation Court Because Reasons

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this little-known court that’s been dormant since 1996, and I have to say,…

Trump Admin Generously Returns Gun Licenses To Reformed Dealers Maybe
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Admin Generously Returns Gun Licenses To Reformed Dealers Maybe

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. So, it turns out that the ATF, under President Trump, has…

Trump Unveils Tariff Plan C Because A and B Were Huge Successes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Unveils Tariff Plan C Because A and B Were Huge Successes

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest tariff adventures, and I have to say, it’s…

Secret Service Leaker Gets Time Off For Good Behavior Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Secret Service Leaker Gets Time Off For Good Behavior Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a Secret Service agent who’s in hot water for allegedly leaking info…

Wisconsin Protests Erupt Over Fatal Police Shooting Of Allegedly Armed Man
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Wisconsin Protests Erupt Over Fatal Police Shooting Of Allegedly Armed Man

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A man was shot and killed in a struggle with police…

Trump’s Presidency Now Officially Radioactive
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Presidency Now Officially Radioactive

Big ElephantJuly 23, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest developments in the Middle East, and folks, I almost spilled my…

Trump Pays Respects While Mulling Next Move On Iran
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Pays Respects While Mulling Next Move On Iran

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from the Iran war, and I gotta say, it’s…

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