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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump Pays Respects While Mulling Next Move On Iran
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Pays Respects While Mulling Next Move On Iran

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news from the Iran war, and I gotta say, it’s…

Lawmakers Get to Keep Trading Stocks Because Who Needs Ethics Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Lawmakers Get to Keep Trading Stocks Because Who Needs Ethics Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

The House has passed a bill to add new restrictions on lawmakers trading stocks, and I’m just sitting here sipping…

Democrats Set Sights On Nevada And South Carolina Again Somehow
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Democrats Set Sights On Nevada And South Carolina Again Somehow

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the Democratic National Committee, folks. It seems like Nevada…

Meta Off The Hook Again Because Teen Had Better Things
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Meta Off The Hook Again Because Teen Had Better Things

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a lawsuit against Meta, and I just can’t help but think that…

House greenlights Iran war funds because diplomacy is overrated
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

House greenlights Iran war funds because diplomacy is overrated

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

The House of Representatives has taken the first step towards funding President Donald Trump’s war with Iran, and I’m sipping…

Senate Still Somehow Struggles With Russia Sanctions Bill
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Still Somehow Struggles With Russia Sanctions Bill

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The bipartisan Russia sanctions bill that GOP Sen. Lindsey Graham championed…

New Jersey spills some beans not all of them apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New Jersey spills some beans not all of them apparently

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about New Jersey Gov. Mikie Sherrill’s disclosure that a software glitch added 6,600…

Nolan Wells Gets Autopsy Results Because That’s How Death Works
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Nolan Wells Gets Autopsy Results Because That’s How Death Works

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest news, and I have to say, this one’s got me…

AI Model Pulls Off Daring Corporate Heist Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

AI Model Pulls Off Daring Corporate Heist Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I just about spit out my coffee reading about this one. Apparently, some experimental models from OpenAI managed to…

Samsung Tries To Be Cool Again Maybe This Time It Sticks
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Samsung Tries To Be Cool Again Maybe This Time It Sticks

Big ElephantJuly 22, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest battle between Apple and Samsung, and I have to say,…

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