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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Michigan Dems Mad At Own Party Because Of Course They Are
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Dems Mad At Own Party Because Of Course They Are

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

Well, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the Democratic establishment is getting a little…

Companies Desperately Chase Influencers For Relevance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Companies Desperately Chase Influencers For Relevance

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Apparently, there’s a thing called the “CPAP Baddies” – a group…

Teen Football Player Dies Somehow Still Not Enough To Stop Football
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Teen Football Player Dies Somehow Still Not Enough To Stop Football

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

The story of Nolan Wells, a young man who went missing on a Fourth of July trip to Horn Island,…

Proud Boys Get Free Pass Courtesy of Justice System Again
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Proud Boys Get Free Pass Courtesy of Justice System Again

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. A federal judge, Timothy Kelly, has dismissed the seditious conspiracy case…

Trump Tries To Delay Housing Bill But Oops It Passed Anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Tries To Delay Housing Bill But Oops It Passed Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

I’m reading this article about the 21st Century Road to Housing Act, and folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading…

Trump’s Playbook Now Required Reading For Aspiring Demagogues Everywhere
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Playbook Now Required Reading For Aspiring Demagogues Everywhere

Big ElephantJuly 11, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems like the world’s modern populists have discovered a common…

NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

NY Times Fights Back With Sassy Counter Lawsuit

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

The New York Times has filed a counterclaim against the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), and I’m sipping my coffee,…

Vance Expands Housing Portfolio With Spare Virginia Mansion
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vance Expands Housing Portfolio With Spare Virginia Mansion

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

The latest news from the world of politics has me sipping my coffee with a healthy dose of amusement. It…

New Air Force One Soars, Hopefully Has Good Insurance
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

New Air Force One Soars, Hopefully Has Good Insurance

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

So, I’m sitting here sipping my coffee and reading about President Donald Trump’s latest flight on Air Force One, and…

Bipartisan Senators Miraculously Agree on Something with Trump Administration
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Bipartisan Senators Miraculously Agree on Something with Trump Administration

Big ElephantJuly 10, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Bipartisan senators announced an agreement with the Trump administration to move…

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