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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

Trump Threatens to Send NATO a Strongly Worded Letter
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Threatens to Send NATO a Strongly Worded Letter

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. It seems President Donald Trump is still fuming about his fellow…

Vaccines Get Blamed First Obviously
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Vaccines Get Blamed First Obviously

Big ElephantJuly 7, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this Idaho woman, Andrea Shaw, who’s facing murder charges connected to the deaths…

Trump’s Pardon Falls Short For Pipe Bomb Suspect
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Pardon Falls Short For Pipe Bomb Suspect

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about this Virginia man, Brian Cole Jr., who’s accused of planting two pipe…

Trump Claims Credit For Walmart’s Summer BBQ Price Drop
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump Claims Credit For Walmart’s Summer BBQ Price Drop

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

I’m sitting here with my coffee, reading about President Trump taking credit for Walmart’s summer sale, and I just can’t…

Cop Responds To Gunfire With Fatal Effectiveness Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Cop Responds To Gunfire With Fatal Effectiveness Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about a tragic incident in Ohio, where a police sergeant responded to a…

Graham Platner Mulls Exit Amid Mounting Pressure
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Platner Mulls Exit Amid Mounting Pressure

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest drama in the Maine Senate race, and folks, it’s a doozy.…

Graham Platner Accused Of Rape By Ex Amidst Denial
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Graham Platner Accused Of Rape By Ex Amidst Denial

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the latest scandal to hit the US Senate race in Maine, and folks,…

Texas Gets To Be App Police Now Apparently
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Gets To Be App Police Now Apparently

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. The Supreme Court has allowed Texas to enforce a law that…

Trump’s Corruption Problem Now Sponsored by Crypto
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Corruption Problem Now Sponsored by Crypto

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. President Trump’s financial disclosures showed he earned over $2 billion in…

Microsoft Liberates 4800 Employees From Their Paychecks Immediately
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Microsoft Liberates 4800 Employees From Their Paychecks Immediately

Big ElephantJuly 6, 2026

Oh boy, folks, I almost spilled my coffee reading this one. Microsoft is laying off about 4,800 employees, which is…

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