What A Moron: Judas Dips Bread In Bowl Right After Jesus Says ‘The One Who Dips The Bread In The Bowl Will Betray Me’
JERUSALEM — Witnesses revealed that total idiot Judas Iscariot dipped his bread in the bowl with Jesus mere seconds…
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What To Know About ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie is now in theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the…
Liberal nonsense seeks sad tales of fake victimhood
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest “scandals” surrounding our illustrious…
Democrat fools try to fix what Trump didn’t break somehow
Oh boy, are you ready for some fake news? I mean, I’m just thrilled to be writing about this totally-not-made-up…
Fake news panicking about jobs, war just a liberal excuse
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…
Gooning probably feels like playing Five Nights at Freddy’s in real life
Just dangle some windchimes like a good old fashioned convenience store
Inconsiderate Wife Leaves Bathroom A Total Mess After Home Birth
AUSTIN, TX—Reporting that he plans to shower at the gym due to the bathtub being left “absolutely disgusting,” local…
The launch of the Artemis rocket was shot from a flying aircraft
RIP to everyone who sat on the left side of the plane
UDO DIRKSCHNEIDER Literally Begs You to Film His Entire Show on Your Phone So He Can Finally Get Some Decent Footage for His Next Concert DVD
Oh joy, oh rapture! The metal gods have spoken, and they’re sick of your phone-taking, video-recording, utterly-absent-from-the-moment nonsense 🤦♂️! In…
Elon Musk tries to save failing company with desperate IPO trickery
It’s absolutely hilarious to watch the fake news media and their leftist allies try to spin the latest news about…