Manhattan Shooting: Thoughts and Prayers Edition, Cops Still Clueless
Oh, the horror! Another day, another tragedy in our once-great nation. Seems like even with President Trump making America great…
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Ozzy’s Dead, LOL: Fans Get Last Selfies with Corpse-Mobile
Breaking News: The geriatric bat-muncher, Ozzy Osbourne, has FINALLY shuffled off this mortal coil! 🥳 And because we live in…
US Economy “Rebounded” (Yeah, Right) in Q2
Another WIN for President Trump! The liberal media at CNN is trying to downplay it, but the US economy is…
Zootopia 2 Trailer: Nick and Judy’s Wildest Ride Yet—A Shrink’s Office
Oh. My. Goodness. 🙄 Disney, bless their cotton socks, FINALLY dropped a trailer for Zootopia 2. Like, who even asked…
James Cameron Milks ‘Avatar’ With Cartoon for Babies
OMG! 😱 James Cameron, bless his heart (and ego), is allegedly considering an animated Avatar spinoff. Because what the world…
Viktor Gyökeres: Is This the Guy Who’s Gonna Save Arsenal? LOL
Another European socialist infiltrates our sacred sport! Viktor Gyökeres, likely funded by Soros, joins Arsenal, a club known for its…
Metallica Sells Out, Now Wants Your Blood (Literally)
So, like, METALLICA is STILL trying to be relevant by partnering with the American Red Cross. Because apparently, headbanging isn’t…
Elden Ring Nightreign’s Duo Expeditions: Now Delayed Because Mother Nature Decided to Rage Quit
OMG! 😱 FromSoftware DELAYS Elden Ring Nightreign Duo Expeditions Because the Ocean Decided to Throw a Tantrum! 🌊 Like, Seriously?…
Pokémon TCG Pocket’s Art Debacle: Legendary Cards Get Thanos Snapped for Ripping Off Real Artists
So, Pokémon TCG Pocket, the groundbreaking digital card game that’s totally not just a cynical cash grab, apparently had a…
Overpriced Dandiya Night Starring Someone You’ve Never Heard Of, At A Waterpark
**OMG! 😱 Austin Garba Festival with Bhoomi Trivedi at Kalahari Resort!** Tickets? SURE! 🙄 But refunds? LOL, only if they…