Learning from Trump, Man Successfully Negotiates Wife Down To Absolutely Everything She Wants
DAYTON, OH — Local man Troy Greer announced that after a long, intense round of negotiations with his wife,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Man Continues Tenth Year Of Sending Just A Thumbs Up To Every Single Text Message He Receives
ROCKPORT, TX — Local man Jake Minter confirmed that he had now entered his 10th consecutive year of replying…
World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For A While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion
WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump’s incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country…
Joseph Hoping At Some Point To Have Dream That Doesn’t Make Everyone Want To Kill Him
CANAAN — The young son of a prominent family remained optimistic that he would someday have a dream that…
Iran Wins $300 Billion Cash Prize For Placing Second In War
TEHRAN — The leadership of the Islamic Republic of Iran was reportedly overjoyed to learn they had won a…
Tim Walz Volunteers To Personally Check Each And Every California Business To See If Owners Are Gay Enough
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — With California adopting a new system to check if LGBTQ+ labeled businesses are really gay,…
MLB Orders Players Who Refused To Bow To Pride Flag To Be Thrown Into Fiery Furnace
NEW YORK, NY — MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, reportedly infuriated by news of ball players defiling their pride hats…
McDonald’s Brings Back Original Recipe Apple Pies With Cocaine In Them
CHICAGO, IL — In a bid to capture vintage nostalgia, McDonald’s has announced the return of its true, original-recipe…
The Most Popular VBS Theme For Each Denomination
Vacation Bible School season is upon us once again, and you may have noticed that every denomination has its…
Ocarina of Time Retro Review: A Boring Game That Doesn’t Even Have Emotes, Skins, Or Loot Boxes
When I first booted up The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I thought I was gonna be in…