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Category: Babylon Bee

Game Of Risk Enters Fourth Week
Babylon Bee

Game Of Risk Enters Fourth Week

FinnSeptember 16, 2026

    NAPERVILLE, IL — Sources confirmed on Wednesday that a local game group’s night of playing classic RISK had now…

U.S. Space Weapon Revealed To Be Little Triangle That Shoots Bullets Out The Front
Babylon Bee

U.S. Space Weapon Revealed To Be Little Triangle That Shoots Bullets Out The Front

FinnSeptember 16, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was…

Christian Misses Good Old Days When All The Obscene Smut Out There Was Heterosexual
Babylon Bee

Christian Misses Good Old Days When All The Obscene Smut Out There Was Heterosexual

FinnSeptember 16, 2026

    SAN ANGELO, TX — During a recent prayer group meeting at New Covenant Church, local man Steve Farmer expressed…

Man Knows He’s Finally Made It After Getting 2nd Fridge Just For Drinks In The Garage
Babylon Bee

Man Knows He’s Finally Made It After Getting 2nd Fridge Just For Drinks In The Garage

FinnSeptember 16, 2026

    RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA — Local man Jim Crest leaned his back against the wall and marveled at the second…

10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler
Babylon Bee

10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It’s not uncommon…

Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost
Babylon Bee

Mitch McConnell Returns To Senate As Force Ghost

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — One of the mainstays of America’s legislative branch was once again seen roaming the corridors of…

Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children
Babylon Bee

Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    LOS ANGELES, CA — Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support…

Supreme Court Rules Securing Elections Unconstitutional
Babylon Bee

Supreme Court Rules Securing Elections Unconstitutional

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark decision just weeks before people head to the polls to vote in the…

Trump Promises To Bring Back $5 Footlongs If Republicans Win
Babylon Bee

Trump Promises To Bring Back $5 Footlongs If Republicans Win

FinnSeptember 15, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest attempt to entice voters to turn out for the November midterm elections, President…

Genius: Man Commits Crime To Fail Background Check And Get Out Of Serving In Children’s Ministry
Babylon Bee

Genius: Man Commits Crime To Fail Background Check And Get Out Of Serving In Children’s Ministry

FinnSeptember 14, 2026

    KANSAS CITY, MO — After being notified that he was on a list of members needing to submit updated…

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