Chuck Schumer Celebrates Memorial Day Alone As All Of Last Year’s Guests Dead From E. Coli
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Chuck Schumer reportedly spent Memorial Day alone with his thoughts after having killed all of…
Category: Babylon Bee
Total Chaos As White Church Choir Tries To Sing African Spiritual
FRISCO, TX – Chaos descended on Christ Methodist of Frisco as the all-white choir attempted to sing an African…
The Babylon Bee Has Obtained A Leaked Copy Of The Iran-U.S. Peace Deal
News broke this morning that the United States and Iran have agreed to the framework of a peace deal,…
Media To Just Start Reporting When Trump Wasn’t Shot At
U.S. — After yet another failed assassination attempt against President Trump yesterday, the national media has agreed to just…
Platner Smooths Things Over With Democrats By Covering Nazi Tattoo With Hammer & Sickle
BANGOR, ME — Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner has smoothed things over with supporters by covering up his Nazi…
Church Hack: Explain To Everyone Stacking Chairs That You’d Love To Help But Your Spiritual Gift Is Encouragement
Getting a little tired of youth pastors teaching the Parable of the Talents and then asking you to go…
Man Discovers Amazing New Weight Loss Method Of Crippling Stress And Anxiety
NEW BRITAIN, CT — Local tax preparer Frank MacArthur recently discovered an amazingly effective way to lose weight that…
‘Throw Pillows’ Narrowly Edges ‘Food’ In Local Couple’s Monthly Budget
DES MOINES, IA — After a tense end-of-month budgeting session, local couple Derek and Amanda Hollister confirmed on Friday…
10 Great New Jobs For Stephen Colbert After ‘Late Show’ Finale
Talk show host Steven Colbert signed off this week after CBS aired his final episode of The Late Show,…
Trump Surprises Don Jr. With Beautiful Wedding Gift Of Cuba
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump confirmed on Friday that, instead of attending his son’s wedding in the Bahamas,…