Newsom Says It’s His Duty To Represent The Illegal Immigrants Who Elected Him
LOS ANGELES, CA — In defense against the mounting criticism from across the country over his response to violent anti-ICE…
Category: Babylon Bee
‘Why Would Trump Do This?’ Cries Gavin Newsom After Getting Head Stuck In Banister
SACRAMENTO, CA — After getting his head hopelessly stuck in a banister this morning, an outraged Governor Gavin Newsom demanded…
Baby Outraged As Person Holding Him Is Not Standing Up
TULSA, OK — A local baby was outraged this morning after realizing the adult holding him was sitting in a…
Psalty The Songbook Last Remaining ’90s Christian Artist With Zero Scandals
U.S. — Psalty the Singing Songbook is now the final contemporary Christian artist from the 199os who has absolutely zero…
Concerns Raised As ChatGPT Begins Replying To All Prompts With ‘Are You Sarah Connor?’
LOS ANGELES, CA — Software developers expressed concern this week as OpenAI’s ChatGPT began responding to all prompts with “Are…
Simone Biles Calls For All Female Athletes To Just Give Up Like She Did
U.S. — Professional gymnast Simone Biles called on social media today for female athletes to stop trying to beat male…
Virus Escapes Lab In Japan Causing Millions Of Americans To Call In Sick To Work
KYOTO, JAPAN — According to sources, a secret lab located in the Kyoto Prefecture of Japan reportedly leaked a devastating…
Federal Judge Blocks Deportation Of Terrorist’s Family, Orders Jews Lit Back On Fire
BOULDER, CO — Federal Judge Gordon Gallagher issued an emergency ruling blocking the deportation of the terrorist Mohamed Soliman and…
USS Harvey Milk To Be Renamed ‘USS No Homo’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Navy announced this morning that the USS Harvey Milk will be officially renamed the…
10 Out Of 10 Therapists Recommend Rolling Truck Window Down To Let Your Arm Get A Little Sun
U.S. — Welcome news greeted stressed-out Americans today, as results of a new survey indicated that 10 out of 10…