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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Checkmate: Trump Announces He Has His Own Doomsday Clock And It’s Infinity Seconds To Midnight

FinnJanuary 29, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the Bulletin of Atomic Scientists revealing that they had officially moved the Doomsday Clock to…

Babylon Bee

10 Secrets To Looking And Feeling Younger

FinnJanuary 29, 2026

    Everyone is looking for ways to slow the aging process these days, but does anything actually work? A few…

Babylon Bee

Trump Tells Iran If They Don’t Stop Slaughtering Protesters He’s Going To Start Counting To Five

FinnJanuary 29, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tensions between the United States and Iran continued to reach new levels, as President Donald Trump…

Babylon Bee

Promises Kept: Here Are The 9 Biggest Accomplishments Of The Republican Congress

FinnJanuary 28, 2026

    Now over a year into the new congressional term and moving toward the midterms, the Republican-controlled U.S. Congress has…

Babylon Bee

Liberal Women Frantically Refreshing Instagram To See What They Should Be Mad About Next

FinnJanuary 28, 2026

    U.S. — Liberal women across the U.S. spent the day feverishly refreshing their Instagram feed to see what they…

Babylon Bee

‘Just Complete This 50 Page Questionnaire,’ Says Hospital Clerk To Man With Axe Embedded In Skull

FinnJanuary 28, 2026

    TOPEKA, KS — A kindly hospital clerk asked local man Jonathan Arnold to please fill out the brief 50-page…

Babylon Bee

Republicans Warn Passing Voter ID Law Could Ruin Plan To Hand Congress To Democrats In November

FinnJanuary 28, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the 2026 midterm elections on the horizon amid increasing strife over problems facing the nation,…

Babylon Bee

ICE Getting So Scary That Illegal Immigrants Thinking Of Leaving U.S.

FinnJanuary 28, 2026

    U.S. — Immigration and Customs Enforcement has become so scary that many illegal immigrants are reportedly considering leaving the…

Babylon Bee

Foul-Smelling Substance Used In Spray Attack On Ilhan Omar Identified As Somali Food

FinnJanuary 28, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — The malodorous substance sprayed on Representative Ilhan Omar at a town hall meeting has been identified…

Babylon Bee

Man Ready To Take On The World After Sliding Favorite Pocket Knife Into Jeans Pocket

FinnJanuary 27, 2026

    BOISE, ID — Though events taking place around him threatened to envelop him in uncertainty and stress, a local…

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Finn December 31, 2025
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