Secret Service In Awe As Trump Walks On Moderately Sloped Roof
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of the United States Secret Service were reportedly awestruck today, as they witnessed President Donald Trump…
Category: Babylon Bee
Tolkien Estate Releases New Study Version Of ‘The Silmarillion’
OXFORD — There was much rejoicing amongst the race of Men as the Tolkien Estate announced the release of a…
Top 10 Quotes From Kamala’s New Book
Former Vice President Kamala Harris has written a new book about her brief presidential campaign called 107 Days, and The…
Trump Takes Back Old Position At McDonald’s To Boost Weak Jobs Report
FEASTERVILLE, PA — President Donald Trump returned to the McDonald’s in Pennsylvania, where he previously worked, to boost the country’s…
Democrats Declare Gerrymandering Bad Until They Need To Gerrymander Again
AUSTIN, TX — Congressional Democrats announced today that they are very much opposed to electoral gerrymandering up until the time…
Lex Luthor Reveals To The World That Superman Is A Registered Republican
METROPOLIS — Superman is a registered Republican, as confirmed by LuthorCorp CEO Lex Luthor at a press conference on Monday.…
Taco Yet To Meet Emotional Problem It Couldn’t Solve
LOS ANGELES, CA — Amid growing cases of stress and uncertainty around the world, one source of self-comfort once again…
Civilization In Turmoil As Man Fails To Tweet About Thing
SCOTTSBLUFF, NE — Civilization was feared to have been thrown into turmoil after a local man failed to tweet about…
Texas Begins Construction On Northern Border Wall To Keep Democrat Lawmakers From Returning
TEXHOMA, TX — Democratic lawmakers who fled the state to disrupt a vote on a new congressional redistricting map could…
Irish President Demands UN Take Military Action To Protect The Shire
DUBLIN — With outcries coming from various circles over humanitarian crises around the world, Irish President Michael Higgins made a…