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Category: Babylon Bee

Colorado Rockies Demoted To Church Softball League
Babylon Bee

Colorado Rockies Demoted To Church Softball League

FinnMay 31, 2025

DENVER, CO — After starting the season with a 9-48 record, the Colorado Rockies have been officially demoted to a…

Federal Judge Rules Trump Must Use The Bad Controller
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Rules Trump Must Use The Bad Controller

FinnMay 31, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another outrageous display of unprecedented judicial activism, a federal judge ruled earlier today that President…

Federal Judge Overturns Law Of Gravity
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Overturns Law Of Gravity

FinnMay 30, 2025

U.S. — The country was thrown into chaos this morning as a federal judge from the D.C. District Court overturned…

Joe Biden: In Memoriam [Do Not Post Until Biden Dies]
Babylon Bee

Joe Biden: In Memoriam [Do Not Post Until Biden Dies]

FinnMay 28, 2025

The Babylon Bee was saddened to learn of the passing of former President Joe Biden. [Note: Make sure this does…

Theology Update: Bible Scholars Now Believe The ‘P’ in ‘Psalms’ Not Supposed To Be Silent
Babylon Bee

Theology Update: Bible Scholars Now Believe The ‘P’ in ‘Psalms’ Not Supposed To Be Silent

FinnMay 27, 2025

CAMBRIDGE — A new theological discovery shook up modern Christianity this week, as Bible scholars revealed evidence that led them…

Man Honors Fallen Soldiers By Purchasing Refrigerator At Incredible Discount
Babylon Bee

Man Honors Fallen Soldiers By Purchasing Refrigerator At Incredible Discount

FinnMay 26, 2025

DALLAS, TX — Local man Jim Reese honored the fallen this Memorial Day by purchasing a Whirlpool refrigerator at an…

Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies
Babylon Bee

Nicolas Cage Launches New Streaming Service Nicolas Cage+ That Has Nothing But Nicolas Cage Movies

FinnMay 25, 2025

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Nicolas Cage announced this week that he will be starting his own streaming service called Nicolas Cage+,…

Trump Demands To See Bruce Springsteen’s Birth Certificate To Prove He Was Born In The U.S.A.
Babylon Bee

Trump Demands To See Bruce Springsteen’s Birth Certificate To Prove He Was Born In The U.S.A.

FinnMay 23, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to years of sharp criticism from the legendary music icon, President Donald Trump demanded to…

Christian Nationalist Asks St. Peter To Direct Him To ‘Whites-Only’ Section Of Heaven
Babylon Bee

Christian Nationalist Asks St. Peter To Direct Him To ‘Whites-Only’ Section Of Heaven

FinnMay 22, 2025

PEARLY GATES — According to Heavenly sources, Saint Peter had an unexpected run-in this week with a self-proclaimed Christian nationalist,…

New Streaming Service For Church Of Christ Members Filters Out All Musical Instruments
Babylon Bee

New Streaming Service For Church Of Christ Members Filters Out All Musical Instruments

FinnMay 22, 2025

MERIDIAN, MI — A new streaming service designed for the more conservative and legalistic members of the Churches of Christ…

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