Cincinnati Authorities Warn White Visitors Not To Use Their Skulls To Attack Black Fists
CINCINNATI, OH — Local authorities issued a warning advising all white visitors to the city to please make sure they…
Category: Babylon Bee
Investigation Concludes Trump Is The Only One Who Didn’t Collude With Russia
U.S. — Newly declassified intelligence files revealed that every politician, government official, and political candidate except Donald Trump colluded with…
‘Behold, He Is Not Dead, But Merely Sleeping,’ Pastor Declares Before Waking Harold In Back Pew
LITTLE ROCK, AR — Congregants at a local church were witnesses to a remarkable event, as a man who had…
Kamala Announces She Will Step Away From Politics To Spend More Time With Vodka
SACRAMENTO — Former Vice President Kamala Harris officially announced today that she would be stepping away from politics in order…
7 Items That Have Become Totally Unaffordable In Trump’s Economy
Inflation may have skyrocketed under Biden, but Trump has also caused massive price increases for several beloved products. Here are…
Christian Parents Decide Portable Porn-Streaming Device Perfect Gift For 13-Year-Old Boy
SANTA CLARITA, CA — Christian parents living in the valley have finally decided that a portable porn-streaming device is the…
CNN: White Man In Bronco Leading Police On High-Speed Chase
LOS ANGELES — CNN has reported that a white man driving a Ford Bronco is leading police on a chase…
9 Early Frontrunners For The 2028 Democratic Primary
Sure, the calendar may still read “2025,” but the 2028 presidential primary season will be here before you know it.…
Universal Studios Hollywood Unveils Long-Awaited ‘Scent Of A Woman’ Land
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA — Universal Studios Hollywood officially broke ground Tuesday on a new themed land at its popular theme…
Man With Strong Urge To Eat Wicker Basket Settles For Triscuit Instead
GRAND RAPIDS, MI — After experiencing a strong urge to eat a wicker basket, a man has decided to settle…