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Category: Babylon Bee

Cincinnati Police Chief Asks Citizens Not To Film Crimes Next Time As It Makes Her Look Bad
Babylon Bee

Cincinnati Police Chief Asks Citizens Not To Film Crimes Next Time As It Makes Her Look Bad

FinnJuly 29, 2025

CINCINNATI, OH — Friday’s violent mob-style attack took social media by storm over the weekend, forcing Chief of Police Teresa…

American Eagle Apologizes, Replaces Sydney Sweeney With Fat Transgender Double-Amputee Of Color
Babylon Bee

American Eagle Apologizes, Replaces Sydney Sweeney With Fat Transgender Double-Amputee Of Color

FinnJuly 29, 2025

PITTSBURGH, PA — Social justice warriors scored another victory today, as retail chain American Eagle issued a public apology and…

Trump Secures 15% Tariff On Extra ‘U’ In British Spelling
Babylon Bee

Trump Secures 15% Tariff On Extra ‘U’ In British Spelling

FinnJuly 28, 2025

U.S. — President Trump has reportedly finalized a new trade deal with the United Kingdom, securing a 15% tariff on…

Palestinians Leave Israeli Aid A 3-Star Yelp Review
Babylon Bee

Palestinians Leave Israeli Aid A 3-Star Yelp Review

FinnJuly 28, 2025

GAZA — Dissatisfied with the level of humanitarian assistance provided by Israel amid the ongoing conflict with Hamas, Palestinians collectively…

Man’s Comedic Genius Wasted On Grocery Store Cashier
Babylon Bee

Man’s Comedic Genius Wasted On Grocery Store Cashier

FinnJuly 28, 2025

DENVER, CO — Local man Grant Henderson reported disappointment once again at having his sharp wit and keen sense of…

Bad News: A.I. Still Hasn’t Taken Your Job, So You Still Need To Work This Week
Babylon Bee

Bad News: A.I. Still Hasn’t Taken Your Job, So You Still Need To Work This Week

FinnJuly 28, 2025

U.S. — Despite hopes to the contrary, recent news reports reveal A.I. still hasn’t replaced your job, so sadly, you…

Obama Presidential Library Design Faces Criticism
Babylon Bee

Obama Presidential Library Design Faces Criticism

FinnJuly 28, 2025

CHICAGO, IL — As the Obama Presidential Center nears completion, it has faced significant criticism for a design that many…

Do You Own Enough Swords? Take The Quiz!
Babylon Bee

Do You Own Enough Swords? Take The Quiz!

FinnJuly 27, 2025

  Read MoreBabylon Bee FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer,…

Wokeness Defeated: America Returns To Christian Roots Of Objectifying Women To Sell Crap
Babylon Bee

Wokeness Defeated: America Returns To Christian Roots Of Objectifying Women To Sell Crap

FinnJuly 27, 2025

U.S. — Conservatives across the country cheered the death of wokeness as America finally returned to its Christian roots of…

Nation’s Lesbians Announce Plan To Go To The Zoo Today
Babylon Bee

Nation’s Lesbians Announce Plan To Go To The Zoo Today

FinnJuly 26, 2025

U.S. — The lesbians of the nation have announced that they are once again planning to go to the zoo…

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