Maine Sues To Allow Sasquatch To Continue Competing In Women’s Sports
AUGUSTA, ME — The state of Maine has recently continued its struggle for equity by suing the federal government to…
Category: Babylon Bee
Sorry Excuse For A Church Only Has One Service LOOOOOOOOL
RALEIGH, NC — Evangelical churchgoers in the Raleigh area have begun to notice that there is a sorry excuse for…
Biden Gives Powerful Speech Reminding Nation Why He’s No Longer President
CHICAGO, IL — Former President Joe Biden delivered a heartfelt address reminding the nation precisely why he is no longer…
‘A Woman Is An Adult Human Female’ Rules U.K. Judge That Looks Suspiciously Like Matt Walsh In A Powdered Wig
LONDON — As the United Kingdom’s Supreme Court Judge issued a landmark ruling that “a woman” is defined as “an…
9 Loopholes To Help You Avoid Paying Taxes
It’s that time of year again when everyone lets the government steal from them in the form of “taxes.” But…
Harvard Warns Loss Of Federal Funding Will Cripple Their Ability To Find A Final Solution To The Jewish Problem
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In the wake of the Trump administration freezing $2.3 billion in federal funding to Harvard University, leaders…
Trump Summons Elon Musk To Oval Office To Help Him Open A PDF
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In another win for technical competence, Elon Musk put his technocrat skills to good use when Trump…
Trump Reveals He Took ‘Which Harry Potter House Are You In?’ Quiz And He’s A Gryffindor
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A specialized test used to determine which Hogwarts House a person belongs to has proven once and…
Man Sadly Informs Son After Watching ‘Return Of The Jedi’ That They Never Made Any More Star Wars Movies
BLOOMINGTON, IN — One local man had the unenviable task of ruining his child’s day, as he sadly informed his…
Top 10 Hottest Hunks According To Taylor Lorenz
Former Washington Post journalist Taylor Lorenz cemented herself as the world’s leading style icon when she called Luigi Mangione, who…