Ignorant Kids Have No Idea How Cool Dad Is
SLIDELL, LA — According to sources, the children of local father Jaxon Holt are completely ignorant of how cool their…
Category: Babylon Bee
Neil DeGrasse Tyson Debunks 12 Popular Song Lyrics
Music, while thoroughly enjoyable and a beautiful form of artistic expression, is often full of logical fallacies and outright misinformation.…
‘You’re Going To Make It,’ Says TV ER Doctor To Patient Who’s Definitely Going To Die At The End Of The Episode
U.S. — A new episode of hit hospital drama Danger Hospital started with a bang an ER doctor told a…
Support Grows For Requiring Supreme Court Justices To Pass Cognitive Tests
U.S. — As audio clips of another round of oral arguments made their way across social media, results of a…
9 Exciting New Dye-Free Foods Coming In The Wake Of RFK’s Ban
With RFK Jr.’s artificial dye ban being pushed into effect as soon as possible, corporations were sent scrambling to bring…
Trump’s Skin Returns To Normal Human Color After Ban On Artificial Dyes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The leader of the free world was sporting a new look this morning, as witnesses noticed that…
Husband Solemnly Informs Wife They Must Do Their Part To Help Nation’s Falling Birthrate
NASHVILLE, TN — Local husband Matt Wilhelm dimmed the lights and put on some soft jazz to ease the tension…
False Alarm: Smoke Coming From Vatican Just Cardinal Steve Accidentally Burning Toast Again
VATICAN CITY — Millions excitedly awaited the imminent announcement of the new Pope after smoke poured out of the Vatican…
White House Tells Americans To Reply ‘STOP’ If They No Longer Wish To Receive Hegseth’s Texts About Upcoming Military Strikes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House has advised every American to reply “STOP” if they no longer wish to receive…
CNN: Behind Closed Doors Pope Is Still Focused, Sharp, And Energetic
VATICAN CITY — CNN journalists on the ground at the Vatican are reporting that behind closed doors, Pope Francis remains…