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Category: Babylon Bee

Virus Escapes Lab In Japan Causing Millions Of Americans To Call In Sick To Work
Babylon Bee

Virus Escapes Lab In Japan Causing Millions Of Americans To Call In Sick To Work

FinnJune 5, 2025

KYOTO, JAPAN — According to sources, a secret lab located in the Kyoto Prefecture of Japan reportedly leaked a devastating…

Federal Judge Blocks Deportation Of Terrorist’s Family, Orders Jews Lit Back On Fire
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Blocks Deportation Of Terrorist’s Family, Orders Jews Lit Back On Fire

FinnJune 4, 2025

BOULDER, CO — Federal Judge Gordon Gallagher issued an emergency ruling blocking the deportation of the terrorist Mohamed Soliman and…

USS Harvey Milk To Be Renamed ‘USS No Homo’
Babylon Bee

USS Harvey Milk To Be Renamed ‘USS No Homo’

FinnJune 4, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Navy announced this morning that the USS Harvey Milk will be officially renamed the…

10 Out Of 10 Therapists Recommend Rolling Truck Window Down To Let Your Arm Get A Little Sun
Babylon Bee

10 Out Of 10 Therapists Recommend Rolling Truck Window Down To Let Your Arm Get A Little Sun

FinnJune 2, 2025

U.S. — Welcome news greeted stressed-out Americans today, as results of a new survey indicated that 10 out of 10…

Cory Booker Announces Plan To Occupy The Rhineland
Babylon Bee

Cory Booker Announces Plan To Occupy The Rhineland

FinnJune 1, 2025

SACRAMENTO, CA — In a surprise speech, Senator Cory Booker shared his vision of sending troops to reoccupy the Rhineland,…

Colorado Rockies Demoted To Church Softball League
Babylon Bee

Colorado Rockies Demoted To Church Softball League

FinnMay 31, 2025

DENVER, CO — After starting the season with a 9-48 record, the Colorado Rockies have been officially demoted to a…

Federal Judge Rules Trump Must Use The Bad Controller
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Rules Trump Must Use The Bad Controller

FinnMay 31, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another outrageous display of unprecedented judicial activism, a federal judge ruled earlier today that President…

Federal Judge Overturns Law Of Gravity
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Overturns Law Of Gravity

FinnMay 30, 2025

U.S. — The country was thrown into chaos this morning as a federal judge from the D.C. District Court overturned…

Joe Biden: In Memoriam [Do Not Post Until Biden Dies]
Babylon Bee

Joe Biden: In Memoriam [Do Not Post Until Biden Dies]

FinnMay 28, 2025

The Babylon Bee was saddened to learn of the passing of former President Joe Biden. [Note: Make sure this does…

Theology Update: Bible Scholars Now Believe The ‘P’ in ‘Psalms’ Not Supposed To Be Silent
Babylon Bee

Theology Update: Bible Scholars Now Believe The ‘P’ in ‘Psalms’ Not Supposed To Be Silent

FinnMay 27, 2025

CAMBRIDGE — A new theological discovery shook up modern Christianity this week, as Bible scholars revealed evidence that led them…

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