On Heels Of Second Bad Jobs Report, Trump Fires Math
WASHINGTON, D.C. – In the wake of the second consecutive poor monthly jobs report, President Trump has announced that he…
Category: Babylon Bee
Michigan Police Help Muslim Immigrants Feel Welcome By Wearing Suicide Vests
DEARBORN HEIGHTS, MI — In what experts described as a major step toward a greater level of inclusivity for law…
British Refugees Travel To North Korea In Search Of Freedom
PYONGYANG — A group of oppressed people arrived in a new land in hopes of making a better life for…
Man Who Needs To Wake Up Early Sets Dog To Vomit At 5:00 AM
DENVER, CO — Struggling to find a way to get up early to make it in to work on time,…
Trump Invites Doubting Democrats To Touch The Hole In His Ear
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump laid rumors of health decline to rest yesterday by inviting doubting Democrats to come forward…
English Bobbies Race Past 5 Stabbings To Tackle Offensive Social Media Poster
LONDON — In a courageous display of British defense of law and order, English bobbies were seen racing past five…
Dallas Cowboys Invoke 25th Amendment On Jerry Jones
DALLAS, TX — The Dallas Cowboys organization has officially moved to invoke the 25th amendment in order to remove owner…
The Babylon Bee Updated Guide To Christian Lingo
Christians, you might have noticed, have their own unique way of talking that can seem like a completely different language.…
Congregation’s Men Hit By Sudden Wave Of Allergies During Singing Of ‘Old Rugged Cross’
TOMBALL, TX — A sudden, inexplicable wave of allergies struck the men of Redeemer Church this morning during the singing…
RFK Jr. Vows To Make Sure Chemtrails No Longer Contain Seed Oils
U.S. — Health Secretary RFK Jr promised to make Americans healthier by ordering a thorough review of airline chemtrails to…