Darth Vader Accidentally Adds Admiral Ackbar To Holochat Planning Alderaan Bombing
MUSTAFAR — The Galactic Empire was forced into damage control mode this week after it was revealed that Darth Vader…
Category: Babylon Bee
After Years of Debate, Theologians Now Agree That Lying To Your Dentist About Flossing Is Not A Sin
LOS ANGELES, CA — After years of fierce debate, theologians from all the major branches of Christianity have now come…
Disney Puts Rachel Zegler In The Vault
BURBANK, CA — Following the disastrous box office opening of Disney’s Snow White, actress Rachel Zegler has been stored in…
Democrats Estimate They Are Only One More Arson Away From Being Popular Again
U.S. — Despite record-low polling numbers among American voters, Democratic Party leaders were confident they could turn things around and…
Security Concerns As Trump Holds Strategy Meeting At Cracker Barrel
STERLING, VA — Critics of the Trump administration have raised security concerns due to Trump holding a high-level strategy meeting…
Bernie Sanders In Trouble As Paid Rally Attendees Vote To Unionize
BURLINGTON, VT — The future of one of America’s more well-known political figures was cast in doubt this week after…
Disney Quietly Cancels Live-Action ‘Pocahontas’ Starring Dylan Mulvaney
BURBANK, CA — After watching its latest feature Snow White suffer a disastrous opening weekend at the box office, executives…
Elon Musk Disguises IRS Building As Tesla Dealership So Democrats Will Burn It Down
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Proponents of eliminating the federal income tax rejoiced today as Elon Musk cleverly disguised the Internal Revenue…
‘Snow White’ Beaten At Box Office By Middle School Recorder Recital
U.S. — In another blow for Disney, the live-action remake Snow White was beaten at the box office by a…
Biden Announces Return To Politics With Bid For President Of Shady Oaks Retirement Community
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former President Joe Biden announced his intention to return to the world of politics with a bid…