Scholars Believe Young Rich Man Went Away Sad When Jesus Told Him To Sell All His Possessions Because He Had The Nintendo Power Glove
OXFORD — One of the most well-known stories from the biblical gospels took on a whole new meaning this…
Category: Babylon Bee
Cheer Up, Libs! Here Are 10 Things Even You Can Be Thankful For This Year
Conservatism may be the superior political ideology, but don’t beat yourself up, liberals. There’s still plenty to be thankful…
Reminder: If You Leave Your Kids Home Alone This Holiday Season, Make Sure They Have Plenty Of Paint Cans, Blowtorches, And A Cutout Of Michael Jordan
U.S. — Authorities issued a public service announcement in time for the holiday season, reminding parents that if they…
Family Institutes Thanksgiving Debate Rules Allowing 2-Minute Speeches With 1-Minute Rebuttal
MOULTONBOROUGH, NH — To make the most of the Thanksgiving holiday, the Richardson family reportedly instituted helpful debate rules…
Family Holding Out Hope This Will Finally Be Thanksgiving Where Turkey Explodes In Epic Fireball
BOISE, ID — Members of a local family are holding out hope that this might finally be the year…
Indians Politely Decline Taste Of Pilgrims’ World-Famous Homemade Smallpox Casserole
PLYMOUTH COLONY — The world’s first Thanksgiving holiday reportedly ended with hurt feelings as the local natives appeared to…
Trump’s Strategy Of Hiring Lawyers Based On Bust Size Not Working As Well As Anticipated
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump’s seemingly bulletproof strategy of choosing lawyers exclusively based on bust size has not worked…
Mall Santa Prepares For Seasonal Gig By Cutting Off Ankle Monitor
BLOOMINGTON, MN — With Thanksgiving nearly here, local man Chad Erickson was reportedly eager to get back to his…
Experts Say AI Could Replace The Jobs Of Not Only Humans, But Also Lawyers
A startling new study says Artificial Intelligence may be close to replacing many jobs for humans, and many jobs…
Radio Turned Off Once Again As ‘Santa Baby’ Comes On For The 5th Time This Hour
TULSA, OK — According to sources, the car radio was switched off after beloved but massively overplayed Christmas song…