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Category: Babylon Bee

In Lieu Of Dystopian Sci-Fi Movie, American Just Watching News From England
Babylon Bee

In Lieu Of Dystopian Sci-Fi Movie, American Just Watching News From England

FinnAugust 11, 2025

U.S. — According to sources, Americans no longer need dystopian sci-fi novels to serve as ominous warnings of authoritarian control…

DC Mayor Warns Trump’s Crime Fighting Measures Will Unfairly Impact Criminals
Babylon Bee

DC Mayor Warns Trump’s Crime Fighting Measures Will Unfairly Impact Criminals

FinnAugust 11, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the announcement that the president had ordered the federalization of law enforcement in the nation’s capital,…

8 Changes Trump Is Making To The 2028 Olympics
Babylon Bee

8 Changes Trump Is Making To The 2028 Olympics

FinnAugust 10, 2025

After declaring himself chair of the 2028 Olympic Task Force, President Trump wasted no time in making much-needed alterations to…

Spirit Flight Attendant Says In The Event Of A Water Landing Lifejackets Will Be Available For $39.99
Babylon Bee

Spirit Flight Attendant Says In The Event Of A Water Landing Lifejackets Will Be Available For $39.99

FinnAugust 9, 2025

U.S. — Spirit Airlines flight attendants have begun advertising that in the event of a water landing, passengers will have…

Study Finds Alcohol Sales Spike Sharply During VBS
Babylon Bee

Study Finds Alcohol Sales Spike Sharply During VBS

FinnAugust 9, 2025

U.S. — A national study has found massive spikes in alcohol sales whenever a Vacation Bible School is hosted nearby.…

Family Struggling To Answer Grandma’s Question About Why Everyone Is Talking About The WNBA
Babylon Bee

Family Struggling To Answer Grandma’s Question About Why Everyone Is Talking About The WNBA

FinnAugust 8, 2025

INDIANAPOLIS, IN — With all the ongoing controversy over inappropriate items being thrown onto the court during basketball games, a…

Democrats Warn New Trump Census Could Negate All The Illegal Alien Votes Biden Brought In
Babylon Bee

Democrats Warn New Trump Census Could Negate All The Illegal Alien Votes Biden Brought In

FinnAugust 8, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — After President Donald Trump ordered census takers to only include U.S. citizens in their counts, Democrats warned…

Gina Carano Settles With Disney, Will Replace Pedro Pascal In All Movies
Babylon Bee

Gina Carano Settles With Disney, Will Replace Pedro Pascal In All Movies

FinnAugust 8, 2025

BURBANK, CA — In the conclusion to a years-long legal battle, actress and former MMA fighter Gina Carano announced that…

Pro Tip: Treat Your Depression By Going For A Run — The Misery Of Running Will Distract You From Your Depression
Babylon Bee

Pro Tip: Treat Your Depression By Going For A Run — The Misery Of Running Will Distract You From Your Depression

FinnAugust 8, 2025

Are you feeling depressed? Lethargic? A new study says you may just need to go for a run, as the…

Female Umpire Ejects Player For Something He Did In Her Dream Last Night
Babylon Bee

Female Umpire Ejects Player For Something He Did In Her Dream Last Night

FinnAugust 7, 2025

ATLANTA, GA — The qualifications of a new female Major League Baseball umpire were called into question today as, during…

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