Democrats Call For An Individual Court Hearing For Everyone On Earth To Prove They Aren’t American Citizens
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As controversy swirls over the deportation of Kilmar Abrego Garcia, Democrat politicians have joined together to call…
Category: Babylon Bee
‘Wheeeeee I’m An Astronaut!’ Exclaims Katy Perry During Ride On Disneyland Astro Orbiter
ANAHEIM, CA — Singer and TV personality Katy Perry inspired dozens Thursday after declaring she was an astronaut following a…
American Hostages In Gaza Disguise Themselves As MS-13 Gang Members So Democrats Will Fight To Bring Them Home
GAZA — In a desperate attempt to return to family and friends they haven’t seen in over a year and…
Maine Sues To Allow Sasquatch To Continue Competing In Women’s Sports
AUGUSTA, ME — The state of Maine has recently continued its struggle for equity by suing the federal government to…
Sorry Excuse For A Church Only Has One Service LOOOOOOOOL
RALEIGH, NC — Evangelical churchgoers in the Raleigh area have begun to notice that there is a sorry excuse for…
Biden Gives Powerful Speech Reminding Nation Why He’s No Longer President
CHICAGO, IL — Former President Joe Biden delivered a heartfelt address reminding the nation precisely why he is no longer…
‘A Woman Is An Adult Human Female’ Rules U.K. Judge That Looks Suspiciously Like Matt Walsh In A Powdered Wig
LONDON — As the United Kingdom’s Supreme Court Judge issued a landmark ruling that “a woman” is defined as “an…
9 Loopholes To Help You Avoid Paying Taxes
It’s that time of year again when everyone lets the government steal from them in the form of “taxes.” But…
Harvard Warns Loss Of Federal Funding Will Cripple Their Ability To Find A Final Solution To The Jewish Problem
CAMBRIDGE, MA — In the wake of the Trump administration freezing $2.3 billion in federal funding to Harvard University, leaders…
Trump Summons Elon Musk To Oval Office To Help Him Open A PDF
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In another win for technical competence, Elon Musk put his technocrat skills to good use when Trump…