Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Trump Gerrymanders U.S. To Include Canada
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The geopolitical balance of power appeared to experience a significant shift this week, as President Donald Trump…
Man Would Be Awesome Dad If It Weren’t For These Rotten Kids
TREMONTON, UT — Local man Randy Carson encouraged himself this week upon realizing that he’d be the world’s most awesome…
Historians Warn Hitler Also Once Stood On Roof
BERLIN — Following the unusual incident in which President Donald Trump was spotted taking a walk on top of the…
WNBA Warns If You Throw Anything On The Court, You Will Be Forced To Attend 10 More WNBA Games
NEW YORK, NY — In an effort to create a strong deterrent to anyone considering perpetrating any further incidents, the…
The Bee Explains: Gerrymandering
The American political scene, usually so tranquil and civil, has recently descended into turmoil over something called “gerrymandering.” Here is…
Uh-Oh: Trump Just Watched New ‘Superman’ And Now He’s On The Roof With A Red Blanket Tied Around His Neck
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secret Service remain on full alert following an incident where President Trump saw the new Superman movie…
Walmart Responds To Sydney Sweeney Ad With Commerical Featuring Sexy Dad In Cargo Shorts
BENTONVILLE, AR — Taking inspiration from American Eagle’s Sydney Sweeney ad, Walmart unveiled an exciting new television commercial featuring a…
In Most Incredible Miracle Yet, Jesus Heals 40-Year-Old Man Of Weird Sounds His Joints Make Whenever He Moves
BATON ROUGE, LA — In a miracle outstripping even the raising of Lazarus from the dead, Jesus healed 40-year-old John…
Satan Takes Trump To Roof Of White House To Offer Him All The Kingdoms Of The World
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump was spotted on the roof of the White House Tuesday with none other than…