Study Finds Alcohol Sales Spike Sharply During VBS
U.S. — A national study has found massive spikes in alcohol sales whenever a Vacation Bible School is hosted nearby.…
Category: Babylon Bee
Family Struggling To Answer Grandma’s Question About Why Everyone Is Talking About The WNBA
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — With all the ongoing controversy over inappropriate items being thrown onto the court during basketball games, a…
Democrats Warn New Trump Census Could Negate All The Illegal Alien Votes Biden Brought In
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After President Donald Trump ordered census takers to only include U.S. citizens in their counts, Democrats warned…
Gina Carano Settles With Disney, Will Replace Pedro Pascal In All Movies
BURBANK, CA — In the conclusion to a years-long legal battle, actress and former MMA fighter Gina Carano announced that…
Pro Tip: Treat Your Depression By Going For A Run — The Misery Of Running Will Distract You From Your Depression
Are you feeling depressed? Lethargic? A new study says you may just need to go for a run, as the…
Female Umpire Ejects Player For Something He Did In Her Dream Last Night
ATLANTA, GA — The qualifications of a new female Major League Baseball umpire were called into question today as, during…
Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave,…
Trump Gerrymanders U.S. To Include Canada
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The geopolitical balance of power appeared to experience a significant shift this week, as President Donald Trump…
Man Would Be Awesome Dad If It Weren’t For These Rotten Kids
TREMONTON, UT — Local man Randy Carson encouraged himself this week upon realizing that he’d be the world’s most awesome…
Historians Warn Hitler Also Once Stood On Roof
BERLIN — Following the unusual incident in which President Donald Trump was spotted taking a walk on top of the…