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Category: Babylon Bee

Trump Hangs Up Sign In White House ‘You Must Be This Tall To Receive Foreign Aid’
Babylon Bee

Trump Hangs Up Sign In White House ‘You Must Be This Tall To Receive Foreign Aid’

FinnFebruary 28, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an explosive meeting at the White House with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy, President Donald Trump sought…

Zelensky Tries Bold New Strategy Of Insulting The People He’s Begging For Money From
Babylon Bee

Zelensky Tries Bold New Strategy Of Insulting The People He’s Begging For Money From

FinnFebruary 28, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an unusual tactic rarely seen in high-level negotiations, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky decided to try insulting…

Study Finds 98% Of Parenting Just Deciding If That’s Good Or Bad Screaming
Babylon Bee

Study Finds 98% Of Parenting Just Deciding If That’s Good Or Bad Screaming

FinnFebruary 28, 2025

PRINCETON, NJ — According to a new study, researchers have confirmed that approximately 98% of all parenting is just deciding…

Zelensky Kicking Himself For Not Wearing His More Formal Olive Green T-Shirt To White House Meeting
Babylon Bee

Zelensky Kicking Himself For Not Wearing His More Formal Olive Green T-Shirt To White House Meeting

FinnFebruary 28, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It was a difficult day for Volodymyr Zelenskyy, as he had been summoned to the White House…

Trump Assures PM Starmer England Still His Favorite Muslim Country
Babylon Bee

Trump Assures PM Starmer England Still His Favorite Muslim Country

FinnFebruary 28, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump extended an olive branch to the United Kingdom on Thursday, telling Prime Minister Keir…

White House Cheerleading Squad Loads Epstein Files In T-Shirt Cannons And Launches Them Into Crowd
Babylon Bee

White House Cheerleading Squad Loads Epstein Files In T-Shirt Cannons And Launches Them Into Crowd

FinnFebruary 27, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A boisterous and jubilant throng gathered on the front lawn of the presidential residence today to celebrate…

Man With Very Stressful Life Decides to Unwind By Watching Very Stressful Basketball Game
Babylon Bee

Man With Very Stressful Life Decides to Unwind By Watching Very Stressful Basketball Game

FinnFebruary 27, 2025

DALLAS, TX — The age-old tradition of people spending their free time engaging in activities that are far less relaxing…

Sorry Excuse For Worship Song Doesn’t Even Have Guitar Solo
Babylon Bee

Sorry Excuse For Worship Song Doesn’t Even Have Guitar Solo

FinnFebruary 27, 2025

NEWARK, NJ — Churchgoers at New Wine Community Church were reportedly dismayed when they were led in singing a sorry…

Guardian Angel Dutifully Stands Over Man Watching TV To Make Sure He Doesn’t Choke On His Pringles
Babylon Bee

Guardian Angel Dutifully Stands Over Man Watching TV To Make Sure He Doesn’t Choke On His Pringles

FinnFebruary 27, 2025

FORT DODGE, IA — A spiritual sigh could briefly be heard breaking through the veil separating worlds as local man…

Conservatism Saved As Muslim Sex Trafficker Brought Back To U.S.
Babylon Bee

Conservatism Saved As Muslim Sex Trafficker Brought Back To U.S.

FinnFebruary 27, 2025

U.S. — Patriotic Americans coast to coast raised a collective cheer today after hearing news that conservatism itself had been…

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