Jasmine Crockett Floats Down Mighty Mississippi To Purchase Fresh Shipment Of Mexican Slaves
NATCHEZ, MS — Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett was seen smoking a corncob pipe and playing a diddy on her banjo as…
Category: Babylon Bee
Winnie The Pooh Destitute As Trump Enacts 150% Tariffs On Hundred Acre Wood
HUNDRED ACRE WOOD — Local bear Winnie the Pooh has reportedly been left completely destitute after Trump enacted 150% tariffs…
Op-Ed: How About Genetic Scientists Try Making Young Men Who Aren’t Little Sissy Boys
Down at the VFW today, the boys were saying that some boneheads used a bunch of test tubes to make…
Trump Bangs Gong Signaling Another Increase In China Tariffs
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The global trade war reached a new level this morning, as President Donald Trump banged a giant…
Is It OK To Date A Girl Who’s Not A Christian As Long As She’s Super Hot?
I know there are Bible verses that say it’s bad to be “unequally yoked” with a non-believer — but what…
Trump Announces HUGE Blowout Sale On Stocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite the gloomy outlook reported in the media by countless economists and market experts, President Donald Trump…
Here Are The Products Most Affected By Tariffs In Each Country
Trump has imposed tariffs on nearly every country on earth, leading to economic uncertainty and market panic. To ease the…
Dire Wolves Extinct Again After New Dr. Fauci Experiments
DALLAS, TX — Though the week began with exciting news of a scientific breakthrough in reviving a long-gone species of…
Analysts Clarify That Trump Is Only Responsible For The Stock Market When It Goes Down
U.S. — With investors pleasantly surprised that a crash has thus far been avoided and the market had rebounded in…
Man Imposes Tariffs As Wife Racks Up Huge Trade Deficit At Target
PHOENIX, AZ — In a move intended to fix what experts cited as a years-long imbalance, a local man announced…