Progress: A.I. Now Only Racist Against Italians
SUNNYVALE, CA — In a clear sign of progress, developers confirmed that A.I. was now only racist against Italians. Read…
Category: Babylon Bee
Pam Bondi Confirms Greedo Shot First
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following an extensive investigation, U.S. Attorney General Pam Bondi held a press conference to announce that the…
Former White House Doctor Denies Ever Knowing A ‘Joe Biden’
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former White House Physician Dr. Kevin O’Connor, who served from 2020-2024, testified this morning that he has…
TSA Announces Passengers No Longer Have To Remove Their Shoes Before Being Fondled
SPRINGFIELD, VA — The Transport Security Agency has officially announced that passengers will no longer have to remove their shoes…
Furious Newsom Says He Won’t Stand Silently By While Trump Fixes California
SACRAMENTO, CA — As the federal government takes steps to attempt to solve a myriad of problems facing the Golden…
‘That’s Neat Buddy,’ Says Dad Understanding Nothing Of What His Kid Just Told Him About Roblox
Local dad Sam Moore offered his son several vague affirmations this morning, understanding absolutely nothing of what he was being…
Thyroid Sick Of Getting Blamed For All Of Woman’s Character Flaws
FRITCH, TX — Local woman Denise Stanton’s thyroid gland has gotten increasingly fed up with getting blamed for all of…
Archaeologists Discover King Saul’s Ouija Board
JERICHO — Another fascinating piece of the biblical history puzzle fell into place this week, as archaeologists announced the discovery…
10 Exciting Changes Disney Is Bringing To The Indiana Jones Reboot
According to rumors, Disney and Lucasfilm are looking at rebooting the beloved Indiana Jones film series sans Harrison Ford, leading…
Red Lobster Introduces Exciting New Menu Item ‘Box Of Things We Found At The Beach’
ORLANDO — For a limited time, Red Lobster’s menu will be updated to include a “Box of Things We Found…