You’ll Never Guess What’s Under The Pyramids! (It’s Sand)
GIZA — Researchers have made a startling discovery about what lies beneath the Great Pyramids: it’s sand. Read MoreBabylon Bee…
Category: Babylon Bee
Yankees Debut New Gloves
NEW YORK, NY — Continuing to find every equipment modification that could give them a competitive edge, the New York…
Trump Doesn’t Rule Out Possibility Of Becoming Immortal Emperor Of Mankind For Next 10,000 Years
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump assuaged fears that he would seek an unconstitutional third term as President by suggesting he…
Here’s A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination
If you’re a Christian guy looking to find a godly wife, you know it can be hard to start a…
JD Vance Sweetens Deal By Offering Statue Of Liberty To Greenland
GREENLAND — In a bid to sweeten the offer of becoming an American territory, Vice President JD Vance has offered…
Kid Outed As Homeschooler After Looking Adult In The Eyes While Talking
PLANO, TX — Local seven-year-old Benjamin Gunther was outed as a homeschooler after he looked an adult directly in the…
Lego Introduces ‘California Home’ Set Where Kids Fill Out Permit And Wait 2 Years For Approval
LEGOLAND, CA — Representatives from LEGO gathered at Legoland in San Diego to unveil a new series of building sets…
Man Holds Off On Reading Bible So As Not To Ruin Suspense Of ‘Passion Of The Christ’ Sequel
RUIDOSO, NM — Local man Pete Blanton has decided to refrain from reading the Bible so as not to dampen…
Greenland Furiously Making Snowballs In Preparation For American Military Invasion
NUUK — Vice President JD Vance was met with a cold reception early Friday when he arrived in Greenland to…
Manufacturer Recalls Faulty Shopping Carts With 4 Functioning Wheels
U.S. — Kart Rite Manufacturing (KRM) issued a nationwide recall this week following the discovery of a grocery store shopping…