Hoping To Win Back Conservatives, Disney Announces New Animated Film ‘Jumpy The Homo-Punching Kangaroo’
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Disney executives shocked the entertainment world earlier today when they announced a new film titled “Jumpy The…
Category: Babylon Bee
Reformed Man Spends Relaxing Lord’s Day Blasting People In Theological Arguments Online
SUN VALLEY, CA — Sources close to Hodgson Lloyd-Jones Johnson confirmed earlier this week that the Reformed 32-year-old spent the…
9 Places More Positive And Uplifting Than Social Media
Everyone knows how wonderful and soul-nourishing it can be to peruse social media platforms. But are there places you can…
Local Man Fondly Recalls Christian Music Being Cool Those Three Days After ‘Jesus Freak’ Came Out
LITTLE ROCK, AR — While taking time to look back on his life after another year passed, a local man…
Biden Finally Claims Title Of Worst Living President
SAINT CROIX — What had already been a relaxing family vacation to usher in the coming new year became the…
Jimmy Carter To Skip Trump Inauguration
U.S. — In yet another blow to President-elect Trump, aides have announced that former President Jimmy Carter will also be…
The Bee Explains: The H-1B Visa Controversy
The American conservative movement, usually known for being well-organized and having zero infighting, has somehow descended into civil war over…
Aw, Crap: DOGE Announces It’s Replacing Baseball With Cricket
U.S. — In a blow to America’s favorite pastime, Vivek Ramaswamy has officially announced that the Department Of Government Efficiency…
Liberal White Woman Really Hoping A Black Shows Up To Her Kwanzaa Party This Year
TEMPE, AZ — Local white liberal Jennifer Armstrong is holding out hope that a black person will actually show up…
Report: Every Single Toy Gifted On Christmas Is Now Broken
WORLD — The results of a shocking study released by Consumer Reports found that every single toy gifted on Christmas…