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Category: Babylon Bee

Search And Rescue Team Responds To Call From Injured Hiker Lost Inside Local IKEA
Babylon Bee

Search And Rescue Team Responds To Call From Injured Hiker Lost Inside Local IKEA

FinnMarch 4, 2025

DRAPER, UT — A search and rescue team was called up to locate a missing hiker who was last seen…

Germany Commits To 100% Electric Vehicle Terror Attacks By 2035
Babylon Bee

Germany Commits To 100% Electric Vehicle Terror Attacks By 2035

FinnMarch 4, 2025

BERLIN — In a plan to deal with what many believe to be its most urgent public safety issue, Germany…

Trump’s Canadian Tariffs Expected To Have Devastating Impact On The Curling Broom Industry
Babylon Bee

Trump’s Canadian Tariffs Expected To Have Devastating Impact On The Curling Broom Industry

FinnMarch 4, 2025

WORLD — With new trade policies officially going into effect, officials warned Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that Donald Trump’s Canadian…

Trump Orders Zelenskyy Be Sent To Bed Without His Supper To Think About What He’s Done
Babylon Bee

Trump Orders Zelenskyy Be Sent To Bed Without His Supper To Think About What He’s Done

FinnMarch 4, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another embarrassing scolding from U.S. leadership to Ukraine, President Donald Trump ordered President Volodymyr Zelenskyy…

Weezer Voted ‘Most Just OK’ Band Of All Time
Babylon Bee

Weezer Voted ‘Most Just OK’ Band Of All Time

FinnMarch 3, 2025

U.S. — Alternative rock band Weezer has been dubbed the “Most Just OK” band of all time following a vote…

Trump Wants To Pardon Pete Rose: Here Are 10 Other Sports Pardons Trump Is Considering
Babylon Bee

Trump Wants To Pardon Pete Rose: Here Are 10 Other Sports Pardons Trump Is Considering

FinnMarch 3, 2025

Trump announced his intention to pardon the late Pete Rose, a ball player who was disqualified from the Baseball Hall…

Europe Pledges To Send Ukraine Their Entire Military Might Of 3 Panzer Tanks And A Nazi Motorcycle With A Sidecar
Babylon Bee

Europe Pledges To Send Ukraine Their Entire Military Might Of 3 Panzer Tanks And A Nazi Motorcycle With A Sidecar

FinnMarch 3, 2025

LONDON — The European members of NATO have rushed to the defense of Ukraine following criticism by the Trump administration,…

Viking Ancestors Looking Down From Valhalla Really Embarrassed By Their Descendents
Babylon Bee

Viking Ancestors Looking Down From Valhalla Really Embarrassed By Their Descendents

FinnMarch 3, 2025

VALHALLA — Mighty viking warriors looked down from their eternal resting place with embarrassment as their progeny floundered with basic…

Health Tip: Instead Of A Glossy Bag Of Potato Chips, Go For The Matte Bag With A Picture Of A Farmhouse
Babylon Bee

Health Tip: Instead Of A Glossy Bag Of Potato Chips, Go For The Matte Bag With A Picture Of A Farmhouse

FinnMarch 3, 2025

U.S.A — The FDA released updated health advice this week, including guidance around what kind of potato chips are the…

Trump Institutes Military Draft For Everyone With Ukraine Flag In Their Facebook Profile
Babylon Bee

Trump Institutes Military Draft For Everyone With Ukraine Flag In Their Facebook Profile

FinnMarch 3, 2025

WASHINGTON, DC — President Donald Trump announced this week he will be instituting a mandatory military draft for any American…

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