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Category: Babylon Bee

Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC For Just $30
Babylon Bee

Elon Waiting For Black Friday Half-Off Sale So He Can Buy MSNBC For Just $30

November 25, 2024

AUSTIN, TX — As rumors continued to swirl of his interest in purchasing the beleaguered cable news channel, reports indicated…

Evil Queen Tries Turning Magic Mirror Off And Turning It On Again After It Says Fairest Of Them All Is Rachel Zegler
Babylon Bee

Evil Queen Tries Turning Magic Mirror Off And Turning It On Again After It Says Fairest Of Them All Is Rachel Zegler

November 25, 2024

ENCHANTED FOREST — Evil Queen Grimhilde resorted to turning her magic mirror off and back on after the mirror claimed…

Santa’s Elves Complain Of Declining Wages As Undocumented Elves Flood North Pole
Babylon Bee

Santa’s Elves Complain Of Declining Wages As Undocumented Elves Flood North Pole

November 25, 2024

NORTH POLE — Elves in Santa’s workshop marched out in protest this week to voice their complaints about declining wages…

‘The View’ Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements
Babylon Bee

‘The View’ Ratings Soar After Introducing Ejection Seat For When Hosts Make Inaccurate Statements

November 25, 2024

NEW YORK, NY — Following what had been a tumultuous election season and notable instances of panel members having to…

It’s Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time
Babylon Bee

It’s Official: Trump Now Has Hottest Cabinet Of All Time

November 25, 2024

PALM BEACH, FL — Less than one month after the presidential election and still eight weeks away from his inauguration,…

Insane Conspiracy Theorist Doesn’t Believe In Dragons
Babylon Bee

Insane Conspiracy Theorist Doesn’t Believe In Dragons

November 24, 2024

RENO, NV — Local conspiracy theorist Joy Behar went on an unhinged rant this morning, professing to a friend that…

Local Man Passes Bar Exam After Just One Week Of Watching ‘The View’
Babylon Bee

Local Man Passes Bar Exam After Just One Week Of Watching ‘The View’

November 23, 2024

KANSAS CITY, MO — Local man Kevin Marlow successfully passed the bar exam today, after preparing by simply watching The…

Musk Announces Plan To Buy MSNBC And Turn It Into A News Network
Babylon Bee

Musk Announces Plan To Buy MSNBC And Turn It Into A News Network

November 23, 2024

U.S. — In a dramatic move that could shake up the media industry, Elon Musk has announced his intent to…

After Playing Steve In Minecraft Movie, Jack Black to Play Lara Croft
Babylon Bee

After Playing Steve In Minecraft Movie, Jack Black to Play Lara Croft

November 23, 2024

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Following his portrayal as Steve in the Minecraft movie, Jack Black has announced that he has just…

Scholars Discover Little-Known Bible Verse Authorizing Divorce If Spouse Plays Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving
Babylon Bee

Scholars Discover Little-Known Bible Verse Authorizing Divorce If Spouse Plays Christmas Music Before Thanksgiving

November 22, 2024

CAMBRIDGE — Though it was long thought to be prohibited except for reasons of sexual immorality, Bible scholars now say…

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