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Category: Babylon Bee

CIA Files Reveal JFK Was Killed By Seed Oils
Babylon Bee

CIA Files Reveal JFK Was Killed By Seed Oils

Finn McFrameMarch 18, 2025

U.S. — In a long-awaited declassification of government documents related to one of the most monumental events in American history,…

Disney Wondering If It’s Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey
Babylon Bee

Disney Wondering If It’s Too Late To Replace Rachel Zegler With Kevin Spacey

Finn McFrameMarch 18, 2025

U.S. — Walt Disney Studios is running damage control ahead of its live-action remake of Snow White and the Seven…

Bad Timing? Tesla Announces New Cybertruck Model ‘The Fuhrer’
Babylon Bee

Bad Timing? Tesla Announces New Cybertruck Model ‘The Fuhrer’

Finn McFrameMarch 17, 2025

AUSTIN, TX — Stock in Tesla dropped this week following the announcement of a new vehicle named The Fuhrer, an…

Trump Draws Names Of Countries From Hat To Determine Next Tariff
Babylon Bee

Trump Draws Names Of Countries From Hat To Determine Next Tariff

Finn McFrameMarch 17, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The media were in attendance Monday morning to witness President Trump draw the name of a country…

Ghost Of Saint Patrick Returns To Drive Rosie O’Donnell Out Of Ireland
Babylon Bee

Ghost Of Saint Patrick Returns To Drive Rosie O’Donnell Out Of Ireland

Finn McFrameMarch 17, 2025

DUBLIN — Longtime local residents were shocked and amazed this morning, as the ghost of the long-dead Saint Patrick spontaneously…

RFK Jr. Apprehends Suspects Dealing Dangerous Sugars And Seed Oils
Babylon Bee

RFK Jr. Apprehends Suspects Dealing Dangerous Sugars And Seed Oils

Finn McFrameMarch 17, 2025

CHICAGO — A daring raid overseen by Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr has led to the apprehension of…

Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned To Space Station
Babylon Bee

Federal Judge Orders Astronauts Be Returned To Space Station

Finn McFrameMarch 17, 2025

U.S. — A district judge has issued a ruling saying Trump lacked the Constitutional authority to pick up two astronauts…

Mormon Wife Designs Future Planet On Pinterest
Babylon Bee

Mormon Wife Designs Future Planet On Pinterest

Finn McFrameMarch 16, 2025

BOISE, ID — Local Mormon wife and mother of two Hadleigh Christensen spent a lazy Sunday afternoon using Pinterest to…

Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax
Babylon Bee

Single Woman Constantly Stressed With No Man Around To Tell Her To Relax

Finn McFrameMarch 15, 2025

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA — Local single woman Michelle Denton continues to be perpetually stressed out as she sadly has no…

Biblical Scholars Now Believe Jesus Will Return Again 13 Days After Second Coming To Pick Up Orthodox Believers
Babylon Bee

Biblical Scholars Now Believe Jesus Will Return Again 13 Days After Second Coming To Pick Up Orthodox Believers

Finn McFrameMarch 15, 2025

U.S. — After years of examining the texts about the second coming of Christ, Bible scholars now believe that Jesus…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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