Millennial Figures Out How To Use ‘6-7,’ Signaling The End Of The Fad
FT. WORTH, TX — Local millennial Chad McCallister finally figured out how to appropriately use “6-7” in casual conversation,…
Category: Babylon Bee
Disney Purchases Rights To ‘Robot Jox’ Franchise In Blockbuster $7 Billion Deal
BURBANK, CA — In a surprise movie, The Walt Disney Company announced that it had acquired the rights to…
‘The New York Times’ Updates Slogan To ‘All The News That’s Fit To Print Plus Any Rumor No Matter How Implausible’
NEW YORK, NY — The New York Times, one of the country’s most venerated newspapers, announced it was adapting…
Hockey Ticket Holders Issued Refund After No Fights Break Out
ANAHEIM, CA — Disappointed hockey fans were issued a full refund for their tickets after zero fights broke out…
Report: CIA Raided By CIA
LANGLEY, VA — Rumors swirled throughout the international intelligence community this week after reports surfaced that agents from the…
Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name
LONDON — Prime Minister Keir Starmer, amidst calls for his immediate resignation, sheepishly admitted to having no idea how…
Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using IPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Disturbing reports out of the San Francisco County Detention Center revealed that inmates were using…
Mechanic Has No Idea How Dodge Caravan Still Running
TEMPE, AZ — After taking a look under the hood of the Barton family’s Dodge Caravan, local mechanic Terry…
Man Helpfully Points Out To Wife That She Looks Tired
TOPEKA, KS — Local hero Greg Miller was praised this week for his keen observation skills after courageously informing…
Study Determines Reason Kids Failing At Math Is Because They No Longer Play ‘Math Blaster’
U.S. — The results of a groundbreaking new study appear to show that the reason today’s children routinely struggle…