France Questions How Rescue Mission Considered A Success When No One Surrendered To The Nazis
PARIS — On Monday, French officials questioned how the United States could classify the airman rescue mission a success…
Category: Babylon Bee
Baseball Traditionalists Long For Good Ol’ Days Of Games Being Decided By Horrifically Bad Calls
U.S. — The installation of the Automated Ball-Strike System in Major League Baseball has left traditionalists longing for the…
Downed F-15 Pilot Asks Rescuers If They Can Go Back For His AirPods Real Quick
KOHGILUYEH — A thankful F-15 weapons systems officer reportedly asked his rescuers if he could go back to the…
Critics Blast ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’ For Its Flimsy Plotting And Not Making Yoshi Bisexual
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Though The Super Mario Galaxy Movie may be doing well at the box office, critics blasted…
Not Fake News: He Is Risen
He is risen indeed! He is risen indeed! Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,”…
NASA Starting To Think Stocking Ship With Chipotle Might Have Been A Mistake
HOUSTON, TX — With the toilet about Artemis II breaking for the second time, NASA began to wonder if…
Man Getting Really Excited About Mario Movie After Seeing Critics Hated It
EUGENE, OR — Local man Bennett Stenson has become increasingly excited for the new Mario movie after hearing that…
Pharisee Asks If It’s Normal For Temple Curtain To Suddenly Rip in Half
JERUSALEM — A Pharisee by the name of Ahaziah asked his fellow scribes if it was normal for the…
Supreme Court Denounces New ABS System That Says Whether They Decided A Case Wrong
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Similar to the reaction of umpires to Major League Baseball’s adoption of its new “Automated Ball-Strike…
Woman Born In August Worried Husband Isn’t Thinking About Her Birthday Yet
PROVO, UT — Local woman Denise Stanford expressed concern that her husband, Mike, had yet to begin even thinking…