Experts Issue Dire Warning That A.I. Has Now Learned How To Use The Semicolon
U.S. — A.I. has reportedly learned to use the semicolon; now experts are sounding the alarm. U.S. — A.I.…
Category: Babylon Bee
So-Called ‘World’s Greatest Dad’ Not Even In Top Five
CLAREMONT, NH — Local man Roger Taft, despite owning several mugs declaring him to be the world’s greatest dad,…
‘Now Witness The Firepower Of This Fully Armed And Operational Battle Station,’ Cackles Obama
CHICAGO, IL — Seated upon his spinning throne chair, a cackling former President Barack Obama invited guests to witness…
10 Questions On California’s Test To Determine If You’re Gay Enough
California has introduced an official LGBT Business Enterprise certificate, which comes with all sorts of cool tax breaks if…
Al Gore Explains That While ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ Did Not Prove Accurate, It Did Make Him Incredibly Rich
NASHVILLE, TN — While commemorating the film’s 20th anniversary, former Vice President Al Gore explained that while An Inconvenient…
Learning from Trump, Man Successfully Negotiates Wife Down To Absolutely Everything She Wants
DAYTON, OH — Local man Troy Greer announced that after a long, intense round of negotiations with his wife,…
Man Continues Tenth Year Of Sending Just A Thumbs Up To Every Single Text Message He Receives
ROCKPORT, TX — Local man Jake Minter confirmed that he had now entered his 10th consecutive year of replying…
World Leaders Line Up To Ask Trump To Bomb Their Countries For A While And Then Give Them A Few Hundred Billion
WORLD — Global leaders rushed to sign up for Trump’s incredible offer to have the U.S. bomb their country…
Joseph Hoping At Some Point To Have Dream That Doesn’t Make Everyone Want To Kill Him
CANAAN — The young son of a prominent family remained optimistic that he would someday have a dream that…
Iran Wins $300 Billion Cash Prize For Placing Second In War
TEHRAN — The leadership of the Islamic Republic of Iran was reportedly overjoyed to learn they had won a…