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Category: Babylon Bee

Babylon Bee

Impressed By Their Setting Up Checkpoints To Demand Papers, Trump Hires Protesters To Join Border Patrol

FinnFebruary 7, 2026

    U.S. — After watching several videos of anti-ICE protesters viciously hunting people down to check their papers, an impressed…

Babylon Bee

7 Least-Gay Winter Olympics Events

FinnFebruary 6, 2026

    While the Summer Olympics are often lauded for their impressive displays of elite athletic prowess, the Winter Olympics are…

Babylon Bee

Researchers Confirm That During Childbirth, Women Feel Almost The Same Amount Of Pain A Man Feels When He’s Stuck Walking Behind A Slow Person

FinnFebruary 6, 2026

    U.S. — A study conducted by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) appeared to demonstrate that women experiencing childbirth…

Babylon Bee

New Study Reveals Videos Of Police Arresting Protesters Are Very, Very Funny

FinnFebruary 6, 2026

    U.S. — Shattering all preconceived notions on the efficacy of public protests, a new study revealed that video footage…

Babylon Bee

Journalists Shocked To Be Laid Off From Obsolete Media Outlet That Loses $100 Million Annually

FinnFebruary 6, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — Over 300 “journalists” were reportedly caught totally off guard this week when an obsolete media outlet…

Babylon Bee

Winter Olympics To Protest Trump’s Immigration Policies By Removing Ice From Skating Rinks

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    MILAN — The most prestigious athletic event on the world stage issued a clear political statement this week, as…

Babylon Bee

Man Worried He May Go His Entire Life Without Mastering The Ancient Art Of Nunchaku

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    LITTLE ROCK, AK — As Darren Phillips pulled himself out of bed on Thursday morning, it became apparent to…

Babylon Bee

Frank From Accounting In Epstein Files For Some Reason

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    DUBUQUE, IA — Employees at Midwest Windows Inc. were reportedly uncomfortable to learn that Frank from accounting was mentioned…

Babylon Bee

To Make Games Fair, MLB Will Now Have Managers Line Everyone Up And Pick Teams Before Each Game

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    NEW YORK, NY. — As teams and fans alike gear up for the start of a new baseball season,…

Babylon Bee

Politicians Hoping National Prayer Breakfast Wraps Up In Time For Coke Orgy Lunch

FinnFebruary 5, 2026

    WASHINGTON, D.C. — As lawmakers and other notable figures gathered once again for the annual solemn occasion to petition…

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