Critics Blast ‘The Super Mario Galaxy Movie’ For Its Flimsy Plotting And Not Making Yoshi Bisexual
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Though The Super Mario Galaxy Movie may be doing well at the box office, critics blasted…
Category: Babylon Bee
Not Fake News: He Is Risen
He is risen indeed! He is risen indeed! Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,”…
NASA Starting To Think Stocking Ship With Chipotle Might Have Been A Mistake
HOUSTON, TX — With the toilet about Artemis II breaking for the second time, NASA began to wonder if…
Man Getting Really Excited About Mario Movie After Seeing Critics Hated It
EUGENE, OR — Local man Bennett Stenson has become increasingly excited for the new Mario movie after hearing that…
Pharisee Asks If It’s Normal For Temple Curtain To Suddenly Rip in Half
JERUSALEM — A Pharisee by the name of Ahaziah asked his fellow scribes if it was normal for the…
Supreme Court Denounces New ABS System That Says Whether They Decided A Case Wrong
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Similar to the reaction of umpires to Major League Baseball’s adoption of its new “Automated Ball-Strike…
Woman Born In August Worried Husband Isn’t Thinking About Her Birthday Yet
PROVO, UT — Local woman Denise Stanford expressed concern that her husband, Mike, had yet to begin even thinking…
Trump Introduces New Birth-Wrong Citizenship Rule To Deport All Losers And Haters
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has for a long time criticized the concept of birthright citizenship — the…
Sneak Peek: A Look At The Features Of Trump’s White House Ballroom
It’s been all the buzz in the media this week, but only The Babylon Bee has the actual details…
Meet the Unsung Hero Who Makes Sure Every Space Mission Doesn’t Have a Stowaway Axe Murderer
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL — Russell Patrick has been doing the same job for NASA for over 50 years, though…