Awesome New Streaming Service Records Movie Streams Onto Cool Shiny Discs And You Can Buy Them And Own Them Forever
U.S. — Entertainment fanatics will soon have something revolutionary to look forward to, as an awesome new streaming service…
Category: Babylon Bee
Stupid Kid In ‘Hakuna Matata’ Shirt Doesn’t Know The Film Ultimately Repudiates The Song’s Message As Simba Realizes He Must Fulfill His Role In The Natural Order To End The Chaos And Suffering Caused By His Hedonistic Pursuit Of Pleasure
ANAHEIM, CA — A stupid kid visiting Disneyland in a “Hakuna Matata” shirt didn’t seem to realize that, in…
Man Horrified To Learn ICE Has Permanent Presence At His Hotel
SALEM, OR — A hotel guest caused quite the stir at a local Holiday Inn Express this week after…
Hollywood Confused As Guy Keeps Saying ‘Jesus’ But Does Not Appear To Be Using It As A Curse Word
LOS ANGELES, CA — The entertainment industry was sent abuzz over the weekend after a guy at the Grammys…
Peter Dinklage Receives Little Praise After Taking Short Time To Recite Small Poem
NEW YORK, NY — Actor Peter Dinklage was reportedly a wee bit annoyed and expressed slight disappointment that he…
Roomful Of Pedophiles Protest ICE Deporting Pedophiles
LOS ANGELES, CA — A room full of pedophiles in attendance at Sunday night’s Grammys ceremony defiantly protested Trump’s…
Tearful Trump Ends Deportations After Seeing Celebrities Wearing ‘ICE OUT’ Pins
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A tearful President Trump has reportedly issued a halt on all deportations and ordered the immediate…
Sandwich Ruined After Not Being Cut In Triangles
U.S. — What had been expected to be a delightful lunch was thrown into chaos and threatened to destroy…
Republican, Democrat Party Platforms Now Just Lists Of People They Would Arrest
U.S. — The political system in the United States took a sharp turn away from addressing practical issues facing…
Finally: Newsom Announces Finished Construction Of High-Speed Rail Between His House And French Laundry
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Newsom announced today that construction has wrapped on the long anticipated high speed rail project,…